Of undecided terms (unscratched nuclear shells)

There’s always conflicts inside me that I’m not resolving. Conflicts that should be resolved at once and forever. But hardly those conflicts turn out to be decided and for me to move on. Sometimes a choice is made, a side is taken, but it seems always to be so half-hearted.

I’m left incapable of trying to tell my future, when most decisions I make are torn apart by my incapability to keep them. However, the most important ones, like my dedication to my development seems well-installed and is still intact (though not invulnerable). But apart from that, this unstableness and uncertainty is always a constant in my life, something I’d like very much to remove. But I can’t seem to resolve it completely either.

The worst part is that I don’t know how exactly apply a martial effort to it as to make a firm decision. My impotence and ignorance towards of how to resolve these issues makes me upset.