Checkpoint #28

July was the beginning of my plans to recover all I've lost here. Well, it was supposed to be. As it can be seen, it's not working. I simply don't know why I just can't do it anymore. These skills I've been developing now feel like they've become atrophied. I've tried and I tried, but I sit there staring at the opened file and nothing comes to my mind, it's just as if I had been designed to this position without previous training.

Trances and moments when I can feel all the great inspiration when I even try some more advanced techniques like the Needlework aren't being sufficient to maintain  this place. Hell, even my compromise to post texts on a monthly basis isn't working anymore. Worse, I don't like how it goes without worries.

I don't know, I think the spinning speed just went fullstop and I feel like the advanced stage of tankobon separation I was almost getting the hang of isn't working. I must get back to the start. Maybe I should go back to the days where I was just making random posts whenever I felt like writing something.

Fortunately, not all news are bad. First, I'm feeling like I'm recovering some social skills somehow I lost. And though trances are at a shortage, I feel that's one of my main powers I feel I am slowly coming to possess again. I've been having the nice feelings of sensing a pattern, creating ideas and names. That's something I just didn't feel in, say, June. I've even had some two or three sweet ideas this month, and that makes me happy.

So with that, I close with a beacon of hope. And I'll need it for my mission to recover what I've lost. Until the end of the year, I'll reclaim Ilium away from the claws of Hrungnir. That son of a bitch is wrecking my fucking year! And then I'll remaster the discipline I used to have and be as productive as I used to be, and that's final.