Reading some of the earlier entries I noticed some crass mistakes with my use of english, things that made my own eyes hurt. It's weird how I am actually aware of some rules but I seem to forget them. I can only assume it's because I write intuitively here, with as little interference of dictionaries as possible.
I have to be careful with each step of the learning process before it becomes a second-nature skill. I have always worried about being this methodic and overly logical here, but I need to follow these rules before I can practice my skills intuitively without letting vices and mistakes to flow in.
It's all about dualism, reason and emotion, pragmatism and poetry. If I keep Hybridism in mind, I hope I won't have to constantly convince myself it's okay to analyse everything thoroughly, as if this blog served me as a dissection table.
The benefits of undergoing a tough discipline will eventually show up, I just have to keep thinking ahead.
Showing posts with label metawriting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label metawriting. Show all posts
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Of HK-47 Protocol
[The Simpsons Principle]
I didn't particularly enjoy the game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic that much. I've found the game a little 'meh'. Really, its story, the so-claimed strong point, is quite whatever and average and the rest is a rip-off from the elements of the original movie trilogy. There, I said it. But there's this very interesting character there, HK-47, a "Hunter-Killer assassin droid", who shows a very peculiar way of delivering his sentences (as can be seen here). The way he classifies them inspired me to analyse my texts. And this is how I'll start paying the promise I've made myself, to work harder developing my writing skills.
[?]
The plan is all set: I'll have to use Formulation in my texts. It'll grants me a Solid ground to expand and develop more complicated structures. But in order to build a formula, I'll have to understand the Whole of the text. And for that I'll have to Breath the text so to identify the Milestones. And this is where the HK-47 Protocol comes in.
[Objective]
It's a procedure I'll use to classify paragraphs by naming them, therefore making them simpler so it'll be easier to hold them whole in my head. It'll be visible only in this post, but in the next ones I'll work with them behind the curtains because it'd get tiresome to have those things always shown on texts. Until this classification procedure becomes a fluent, second-nature skill, there's a long way to go with it. Mostly because different texts will require different formulas and this procedure is essential to analyse all variables and identify what elements they share in common. Anyway, I think posts dealing with namings will pretty much follow similar patterns.
[Conclusion]
In the end, I believe this will be a very useful paliative trick. They are like those lens that'll make issues awkwardly visible (like, what's the name of that transitioning paragraph, it couldn't still be part of the introduction, could it? An introduction that long?), and I can even feel some issues being instantly healed already. Ye-hay, that's nuclearity for you!
I didn't particularly enjoy the game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic that much. I've found the game a little 'meh'. Really, its story, the so-claimed strong point, is quite whatever and average and the rest is a rip-off from the elements of the original movie trilogy. There, I said it. But there's this very interesting character there, HK-47, a "Hunter-Killer assassin droid", who shows a very peculiar way of delivering his sentences (as can be seen here). The way he classifies them inspired me to analyse my texts. And this is how I'll start paying the promise I've made myself, to work harder developing my writing skills.
[?]
The plan is all set: I'll have to use Formulation in my texts. It'll grants me a Solid ground to expand and develop more complicated structures. But in order to build a formula, I'll have to understand the Whole of the text. And for that I'll have to Breath the text so to identify the Milestones. And this is where the HK-47 Protocol comes in.
[Objective]
It's a procedure I'll use to classify paragraphs by naming them, therefore making them simpler so it'll be easier to hold them whole in my head. It'll be visible only in this post, but in the next ones I'll work with them behind the curtains because it'd get tiresome to have those things always shown on texts. Until this classification procedure becomes a fluent, second-nature skill, there's a long way to go with it. Mostly because different texts will require different formulas and this procedure is essential to analyse all variables and identify what elements they share in common. Anyway, I think posts dealing with namings will pretty much follow similar patterns.
[Conclusion]
In the end, I believe this will be a very useful paliative trick. They are like those lens that'll make issues awkwardly visible (like, what's the name of that transitioning paragraph, it couldn't still be part of the introduction, could it? An introduction that long?), and I can even feel some issues being instantly healed already. Ye-hay, that's nuclearity for you!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Checkpoint #3
There's not much to be said this time. As in the last few days I already posted entries regarding things that I usually say here, this time this will end up shorter. Also, as I've been writing less, there was less to be analyzed anyway. But I've been finishing writing my final report to put an end to my undergraduate course, and that's where I got Seasoning from. Eh, June's been a busy month. But this month I'll work better on the formulation of the texts.
By the way, I wish I could say Seasoning had a slowed down the posting rate, but I'm afraid that would be a lame excuse for postponing. Weird how some topics I feel the usual whatever-good-enough rush and that's how seasoning can help me, but also there are some topics that I feel quite the opposite, and that's something seasoning can also help me. Eh, should've have said that in the proper entry. Not seasoned enough, that one.
But I've been thinking about this blog. I've been thinking about reseting it so things could started more organized, but that would be a much rushed decision, so I decided I'll keep writing my shit here. I guess I'm learning to accept and have fun with my mistakes and weirdness. Probably a good step in improvement, I'll just have to be careful not to get it into a vice.
I've also been wondering on these "Of ..." titles. Sometimes they don't sound right and I've even thought of removing them, but that would get rid of the capital letters that are indicative of Names, so it'll stay as it is.
Discovery of the month:
I really like how sometimes a little sprout of ideas sometimes develop better when written down. It's the case of the Unseen things. I've been thinking about the sequels and I've been realizing greater things. It's getting awesome. Seasoning is much too recent, and so far it has only taken the role of a writing tool, but, um, as I write this sentence I can see it has some potential to be developed if I just send it to analogies department.
By the way, I wish I could say Seasoning had a slowed down the posting rate, but I'm afraid that would be a lame excuse for postponing. Weird how some topics I feel the usual whatever-good-enough rush and that's how seasoning can help me, but also there are some topics that I feel quite the opposite, and that's something seasoning can also help me. Eh, should've have said that in the proper entry. Not seasoned enough, that one.
But I've been thinking about this blog. I've been thinking about reseting it so things could started more organized, but that would be a much rushed decision, so I decided I'll keep writing my shit here. I guess I'm learning to accept and have fun with my mistakes and weirdness. Probably a good step in improvement, I'll just have to be careful not to get it into a vice.
I've also been wondering on these "Of ..." titles. Sometimes they don't sound right and I've even thought of removing them, but that would get rid of the capital letters that are indicative of Names, so it'll stay as it is.
Discovery of the month:
I really like how sometimes a little sprout of ideas sometimes develop better when written down. It's the case of the Unseen things. I've been thinking about the sequels and I've been realizing greater things. It's getting awesome. Seasoning is much too recent, and so far it has only taken the role of a writing tool, but, um, as I write this sentence I can see it has some potential to be developed if I just send it to analogies department.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Of Hybridism (pragmatism and lyricism)
I think it's a sign of Art when words can be used so masterfully. And I want to achieve it, but there's a long way to go, as I still can't do much impressive tricks with my currents skills. I've even been trying to avoid poetry. Mermaid words, careful with them. They can be shiny and beautiful and deviate me from my purposes when my ideas are not clear and whole and formulated enough to bear with that temptation.
Look, I've just preyed myself, but it seems the last sentence was strong enough to get safe and accurate to the other side.
And there it goes, the texts can sound beautiful and pleasant even when my main purpose is to convey a message thoroughly. I've been thinking, this whole pragmatical approach I'm using to discipline my writing skills is somehow making my texts sound somewhat poetic in its own pragmatism. I've noticed how when I express ideas like tasting or seasoning I sometimes sound like a sensitive poet with a delicate word-playing, when I'm fact I'm only trying to be as practical and objective as possible just so my meaning can travel safely to the reader.
I like this kind of beauty, this meaningful beauty. Sounds like a good hybrid between the efficiency of methodic simplicity and the tasteful spices of poetry (see, only using names for concepts I've given lots of thoughts).
By the way, nice word, hybrid. I'll adopt it as a name for this long-sought balance between dualities.
Look, I've just preyed myself, but it seems the last sentence was strong enough to get safe and accurate to the other side.
And there it goes, the texts can sound beautiful and pleasant even when my main purpose is to convey a message thoroughly. I've been thinking, this whole pragmatical approach I'm using to discipline my writing skills is somehow making my texts sound somewhat poetic in its own pragmatism. I've noticed how when I express ideas like tasting or seasoning I sometimes sound like a sensitive poet with a delicate word-playing, when I'm fact I'm only trying to be as practical and objective as possible just so my meaning can travel safely to the reader.
I like this kind of beauty, this meaningful beauty. Sounds like a good hybrid between the efficiency of methodic simplicity and the tasteful spices of poetry (see, only using names for concepts I've given lots of thoughts).
By the way, nice word, hybrid. I'll adopt it as a name for this long-sought balance between dualities.
Of Seasoning
I've been thinking about ways of improving my writing skills, and I think I've got something that can help me.
Now, the greatest problem I face when writing is missing some ideas when wording them, only to remember important things after the post is already online, then I grieve for having to edit the bloody posts. It seems I can't do much about achieving a fluent view of the subjects yet, so all I can do for now is to wait for the elements to come slowly.
So that's what Seasoning means. I will start writing an entry like I'm going to post it right away, but instead I'll leave it inboard so I can come now and then and add things I've missed. And then I'll come back and edit things and put them all in place and I'll be happy, because somehow the thought of organizing lots of things random actually sounds like fun.
It's actually been a while since I thought about letting an idea grow and wait until it was ready to be deployed into a text and keeping it in the inbox until then, but that's been mostly to see if the subject had any relevance and was worthy of being posted. This whole Seasoning thing sounds like the most obvious tactic, but that was quite flawed and I had to do something about it. And now the idea is seasoned enough to be put in use.
Now, the greatest problem I face when writing is missing some ideas when wording them, only to remember important things after the post is already online, then I grieve for having to edit the bloody posts. It seems I can't do much about achieving a fluent view of the subjects yet, so all I can do for now is to wait for the elements to come slowly.
So that's what Seasoning means. I will start writing an entry like I'm going to post it right away, but instead I'll leave it inboard so I can come now and then and add things I've missed. And then I'll come back and edit things and put them all in place and I'll be happy, because somehow the thought of organizing lots of things random actually sounds like fun.
It's actually been a while since I thought about letting an idea grow and wait until it was ready to be deployed into a text and keeping it in the inbox until then, but that's been mostly to see if the subject had any relevance and was worthy of being posted. This whole Seasoning thing sounds like the most obvious tactic, but that was quite flawed and I had to do something about it. And now the idea is seasoned enough to be put in use.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Checkpoint #2
It's weird that I seemed to be feeling more comfortable with writing, but when I started analysing my posts I got disappointed and frustrated all over again. I'm having a hard time accepting how much I suck :(
There's still the problem of underdevelopment. Some texts are mostly one-lined concepts, awkward jumps and a fuckton of examples. I didn't approve a handful of entries because of that. Eh, I guess I spend too much time analogizing around, that seemed to get my mind viced. Also I can't help but always come back to edit those entries, those little details I can only seem to realize when the bloody post is already online (oh lord, I'm doing right now with this very sentence). So, for the underdevelopment, the remedy is more goddamn reflection and a also more exploring of the idea.
Out of all things needing improvement, at least now I'm getting the hang of that Simpsons' Principle. The beginning of the texts seem to be formulated already, but as it goes deeper things get all too loose. It reminds me of these series that start all planned out but get loose along the way. I think the problem is all about Wholeness, Milestones and Formulations. I'll be focusing on these things.
I think that those bloody deviations also decreased, or I feel so. Maybe getting a more pragmatic approach to texts seem to help me. And when I get to express my ideas proportionally, then I'll be able to give my texts some spices, some more poetry and rethorical experiments. Only after I get the basics of writing, though.
Discovery of the month: Spices. Once again naming proves its importance. I can spot and handle spices much more easily just by giving the thing a bloody name. It's been really handy, anyway. It's pretty much what happened when the internet learned to name certain behaviors as trolling. Though we all got so excited with the potential of the name that now everything is being called trolling. Now I keep seeing spices everywhere.
There's still the problem of underdevelopment. Some texts are mostly one-lined concepts, awkward jumps and a fuckton of examples. I didn't approve a handful of entries because of that. Eh, I guess I spend too much time analogizing around, that seemed to get my mind viced. Also I can't help but always come back to edit those entries, those little details I can only seem to realize when the bloody post is already online (oh lord, I'm doing right now with this very sentence). So, for the underdevelopment, the remedy is more goddamn reflection and a also more exploring of the idea.
Out of all things needing improvement, at least now I'm getting the hang of that Simpsons' Principle. The beginning of the texts seem to be formulated already, but as it goes deeper things get all too loose. It reminds me of these series that start all planned out but get loose along the way. I think the problem is all about Wholeness, Milestones and Formulations. I'll be focusing on these things.
I think that those bloody deviations also decreased, or I feel so. Maybe getting a more pragmatic approach to texts seem to help me. And when I get to express my ideas proportionally, then I'll be able to give my texts some spices, some more poetry and rethorical experiments. Only after I get the basics of writing, though.
Discovery of the month: Spices. Once again naming proves its importance. I can spot and handle spices much more easily just by giving the thing a bloody name. It's been really handy, anyway. It's pretty much what happened when the internet learned to name certain behaviors as trolling. Though we all got so excited with the potential of the name that now everything is being called trolling. Now I keep seeing spices everywhere.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Of Remediality (reflection and exposure)
Ok, the checkpoint works cool as diagnosing tool. Now I'll have to try solving these problems. One of my main concerns I have to start working on are all those Deviations when I start writing. Like shutting my brain off and let my hands do their meaningless poetry.
Maybe I was excited with the thought of opening my heart and being productive and getting the prospect of making my mind a wonderfully organized and clean place to live that I go rushing to talk about everything, and obviously there's one big down side to it, the lack of efficiency. I think I'm not appraising my thoughts as I should and of course the efficiency decreased considerably.
It seems I haven't been reflecting enough on my thoughts since I've started blogging. And I thought I was already overdoing it. See kids, always less talking, always more thinking. I'll have to have things clearer in my mind before getting rid of them in a, I hope, satisfying way. Or then it's an unavoidable burden, getting always extremely unsatisfied with whatever I do.
Maybe the problem is also this other issue: I think I don't feel ready for exposing myself to whoever might ever read this. I end up regreting everything I write here. I know I am supposed to overcome this problem for once and this is pretty much the right way to do it, but I think there's a piece missing in this puzzle.
Alright, Nuclear Aim, I'll give some thoughts to them to see if these are indeed the things that are standing in my way. Anyway, this week I'll try to slow down a bit and see if I can find any solutions. Maybe all this buzz is overloading my mind even more, maybe this selfdevelopment method I'm trying is too much for me.
But what can I do, it's not like I can stop myself from thinking.
Maybe I was excited with the thought of opening my heart and being productive and getting the prospect of making my mind a wonderfully organized and clean place to live that I go rushing to talk about everything, and obviously there's one big down side to it, the lack of efficiency. I think I'm not appraising my thoughts as I should and of course the efficiency decreased considerably.
It seems I haven't been reflecting enough on my thoughts since I've started blogging. And I thought I was already overdoing it. See kids, always less talking, always more thinking. I'll have to have things clearer in my mind before getting rid of them in a, I hope, satisfying way. Or then it's an unavoidable burden, getting always extremely unsatisfied with whatever I do.
Maybe the problem is also this other issue: I think I don't feel ready for exposing myself to whoever might ever read this. I end up regreting everything I write here. I know I am supposed to overcome this problem for once and this is pretty much the right way to do it, but I think there's a piece missing in this puzzle.
Alright, Nuclear Aim, I'll give some thoughts to them to see if these are indeed the things that are standing in my way. Anyway, this week I'll try to slow down a bit and see if I can find any solutions. Maybe all this buzz is overloading my mind even more, maybe this selfdevelopment method I'm trying is too much for me.
But what can I do, it's not like I can stop myself from thinking.
Checkpoint #1
So far I could notice this blog helped me in some ways I expected (getting more comfortable with voicing myself) and some ways I didn't (it helped me to focus on subjects) and also brought new problems of which some I foresaw (it wouldn't unload my mind as much as I intended to) and some I didn't (unloading can actually overload).
Eh, pretty much life going on.
Overall, I'm not really pleased with the result. I tried the hardest to stop seeing this as something that deserves a critical avaliation, but I can't help it. Statistics tell me there are people accessing this blog and I try put myself in their shoes, and I feel down with regret bothering writing things so poorly.
Ok, first, I didn't feel as much relief as I thought it would. I actually I ended up feeling responsible for my thoughts now I'm exposing them, hence feeling more of a burden to carry, also I guess my thoughts aren't exactly getting more organized. Maybe I'm rushing to get my thoughts off my head and I've haven't dedicated as much time to thinking as I should. Eh, I don't know, maybe I'll get to find a suitable routine for thinking and deploying. Maybe I shouldn't be deploying them just yet.
Second, I thought I'd get my most important ideas off right away, but obviously it's not easy like that. I've found it too difficult to write about my most complex ideas. Not like they're really complex (they're not), but it's a whole new thing to express them in a way it has to be understandable for others. Not to mention some ideas have some requirements, things that have to be said first to open ground for the greater moves. But it's just hard, because it's hard to pinpoint what's more important of being said first. So there are a lot of things I'm not feeling ready to talk about, for fear of not dealing with them how they deserve, just as I feel it was a crime what I did to some previous subjects.
Third, I'm also trying to deal with the problem of wasting subjects. Of crafting a text regarding something, and then noticing it's just so incomplete. I get that feeling that I have so much more to say about that, but I think that, in a broader sense it's something actually unavoidable, so there shouldn't be nothing wrong with talking about some subjects again. But there's also the issue of making it all out and not feeling much of a reward, but feeling like it has to be said again and again. I find it complicated when it comes to complaints, because, hell, cut the whining.
Fourth,I'm finding my text structures just horrendous. Either extremely underdeveloped or unnecessarily brief, or then filled with digressions and deviations or words that seemed cool to be said, but far from accurate or meaningful. I hated specifically those Tasting subjects. It's always "Of rain: I love rain", "Of music: I love music". I have to cut that crap. I have to avoid being always "oh, i love this", "I hate that" and the likes. I don't know why, but I find that extremely annoying.
Fifth, I have to revise the texts some times before posting them. Sometimes they look ok and I rush to send the text, but when I go back to read then I just notice how uncareful I was. Some texts I regret having writing, but there they'll stay to make me feel ashamed. Anyway, I don't want to keep going back to edit it after it was published. I'm also ashamed by how I keep writing in english so carelessly. I realize I've made a lot of unnecessary mistakes, so now I'm being more careful when writing.
However, I liked some things. I like how I crafted some interesting sentences (I keep going back to that "names are steps...") and how once in a while I've got nuclearly accurate words. Also, there's one trend I'm finding interesting to keep going with: taking sentences from a post and developing another text over it. I think that's something I'm definitely keeping. They'll help me to achieve chainposting.
Regarding problems I think I may have found a potential solutions, it includes the problem I have with crafting the texts when it comes to make the reading flowing. I have all these blocks and parts looking so unconnected that'd make the reading extremely clumsy, but I was surprised how sometimes some few words can put everything on track again, with no need even of changing the overall structure.
I'll call those words Framers (I tried using the in this very post)
It also includes introductions. Sometimes I felt like I was doing it right. Starting with something broad, or seemingly unrelated to the topic and bringing the main topic slowly into the light. Something That Kinda Reminds Me of Simpsons. Eh, The Simpsons' Principle will help me deal with the issue, even though it's not exactly how they do in the show. Anyway, I'll try to explore that train of thought that leads me to these nice introductions.
So far these have been my concerns until this point. I don't know if I'll be able to fix all these things in a single month, so probably next checkpoint is going to be about whining about the very same things all over again...
"I don't know, I'm making this up as I go" (Indy)
Eh, pretty much life going on.
Overall, I'm not really pleased with the result. I tried the hardest to stop seeing this as something that deserves a critical avaliation, but I can't help it. Statistics tell me there are people accessing this blog and I try put myself in their shoes, and I feel down with regret bothering writing things so poorly.
Ok, first, I didn't feel as much relief as I thought it would. I actually I ended up feeling responsible for my thoughts now I'm exposing them, hence feeling more of a burden to carry, also I guess my thoughts aren't exactly getting more organized. Maybe I'm rushing to get my thoughts off my head and I've haven't dedicated as much time to thinking as I should. Eh, I don't know, maybe I'll get to find a suitable routine for thinking and deploying. Maybe I shouldn't be deploying them just yet.
Second, I thought I'd get my most important ideas off right away, but obviously it's not easy like that. I've found it too difficult to write about my most complex ideas. Not like they're really complex (they're not), but it's a whole new thing to express them in a way it has to be understandable for others. Not to mention some ideas have some requirements, things that have to be said first to open ground for the greater moves. But it's just hard, because it's hard to pinpoint what's more important of being said first. So there are a lot of things I'm not feeling ready to talk about, for fear of not dealing with them how they deserve, just as I feel it was a crime what I did to some previous subjects.
Third, I'm also trying to deal with the problem of wasting subjects. Of crafting a text regarding something, and then noticing it's just so incomplete. I get that feeling that I have so much more to say about that, but I think that, in a broader sense it's something actually unavoidable, so there shouldn't be nothing wrong with talking about some subjects again. But there's also the issue of making it all out and not feeling much of a reward, but feeling like it has to be said again and again. I find it complicated when it comes to complaints, because, hell, cut the whining.
Fourth,I'm finding my text structures just horrendous. Either extremely underdeveloped or unnecessarily brief, or then filled with digressions and deviations or words that seemed cool to be said, but far from accurate or meaningful. I hated specifically those Tasting subjects. It's always "Of rain: I love rain", "Of music: I love music". I have to cut that crap. I have to avoid being always "oh, i love this", "I hate that" and the likes. I don't know why, but I find that extremely annoying.
Fifth, I have to revise the texts some times before posting them. Sometimes they look ok and I rush to send the text, but when I go back to read then I just notice how uncareful I was. Some texts I regret having writing, but there they'll stay to make me feel ashamed. Anyway, I don't want to keep going back to edit it after it was published. I'm also ashamed by how I keep writing in english so carelessly. I realize I've made a lot of unnecessary mistakes, so now I'm being more careful when writing.
However, I liked some things. I like how I crafted some interesting sentences (I keep going back to that "names are steps...") and how once in a while I've got nuclearly accurate words. Also, there's one trend I'm finding interesting to keep going with: taking sentences from a post and developing another text over it. I think that's something I'm definitely keeping. They'll help me to achieve chainposting.
Regarding problems I think I may have found a potential solutions, it includes the problem I have with crafting the texts when it comes to make the reading flowing. I have all these blocks and parts looking so unconnected that'd make the reading extremely clumsy, but I was surprised how sometimes some few words can put everything on track again, with no need even of changing the overall structure.
I'll call those words Framers (I tried using the in this very post)
It also includes introductions. Sometimes I felt like I was doing it right. Starting with something broad, or seemingly unrelated to the topic and bringing the main topic slowly into the light. Something That Kinda Reminds Me of Simpsons. Eh, The Simpsons' Principle will help me deal with the issue, even though it's not exactly how they do in the show. Anyway, I'll try to explore that train of thought that leads me to these nice introductions.
So far these have been my concerns until this point. I don't know if I'll be able to fix all these things in a single month, so probably next checkpoint is going to be about whining about the very same things all over again...
"I don't know, I'm making this up as I go" (Indy)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Of birth and distress
I think sometimes I think more than I should.
And my mind, just one more wandering piece of conscience around billions of other wandering minds, is filled with an ocean of thoughts and feelings and ideas and dreams and frustrations and love and hate and all of these very human traits that, sometimes, are too much for the feeble human mind to bear.
I keep thinking... it's tricky to have thoughts organized up there in your mind, as ethereal as they are in nature. One can think of several ways to tame his thoughts, but, even so, the things you think just turn out to be more ethereal thoughts. Like them humans, judging other humans. So if one doesn't find a way to break through this paradoxal, limiting thingy, this person is doomed to get things lost in the way. Maybe sanity.
This blog was born out of my need to store the products of my mind. And maybe I can keep it sane and organized. Hopefully no more precious ideas will be lost. Hopefully I'll be able to stop swimming in these same thoughts over and again, like bathing in the same pool of unrefreshed water every day, so, in an attempt to refresh my mind, this is the place I want to store them thoughts. No, not like a prison, I hope. Not like a disposal station either.
Maybe more like a museum.
However, something about this project gets me worried, and, as consequence, has been making me postpone it for months. There's this fear I have of making mistakes or simply not having my ideas crafted as perfectly as I intend to. This project is, after all, too important and dear to me. As a father to a child, I feel worried about the consequences of exposing it to the outerworld.
But I just need to stop being so perfectionist all the bloody time. I'd better think of this blog just as an exercise, not a test of any kind. I want, in a long term, to use this place to write things down as a mean of developing myself and improving my writing skills and ways of expressing myself more efficiently, without leaving important things unsaid or scattered uncarelessly around the text. I want to create a better connection between my thoughts and my words, my mind and my writing hand, as the latter one looks too limp in comparison.
So my greater goal is to develop a method of crafting well-structured and meaningul texts, but, as far as now, my main goal is simply to attend the urge to make my mind feel relieved. To unload the overloaded.
And my mind, just one more wandering piece of conscience around billions of other wandering minds, is filled with an ocean of thoughts and feelings and ideas and dreams and frustrations and love and hate and all of these very human traits that, sometimes, are too much for the feeble human mind to bear.
I keep thinking... it's tricky to have thoughts organized up there in your mind, as ethereal as they are in nature. One can think of several ways to tame his thoughts, but, even so, the things you think just turn out to be more ethereal thoughts. Like them humans, judging other humans. So if one doesn't find a way to break through this paradoxal, limiting thingy, this person is doomed to get things lost in the way. Maybe sanity.
This blog was born out of my need to store the products of my mind. And maybe I can keep it sane and organized. Hopefully no more precious ideas will be lost. Hopefully I'll be able to stop swimming in these same thoughts over and again, like bathing in the same pool of unrefreshed water every day, so, in an attempt to refresh my mind, this is the place I want to store them thoughts. No, not like a prison, I hope. Not like a disposal station either.
Maybe more like a museum.
However, something about this project gets me worried, and, as consequence, has been making me postpone it for months. There's this fear I have of making mistakes or simply not having my ideas crafted as perfectly as I intend to. This project is, after all, too important and dear to me. As a father to a child, I feel worried about the consequences of exposing it to the outerworld.
But I just need to stop being so perfectionist all the bloody time. I'd better think of this blog just as an exercise, not a test of any kind. I want, in a long term, to use this place to write things down as a mean of developing myself and improving my writing skills and ways of expressing myself more efficiently, without leaving important things unsaid or scattered uncarelessly around the text. I want to create a better connection between my thoughts and my words, my mind and my writing hand, as the latter one looks too limp in comparison.
So my greater goal is to develop a method of crafting well-structured and meaningul texts, but, as far as now, my main goal is simply to attend the urge to make my mind feel relieved. To unload the overloaded.