There is in me the spirit of exploration and
adventure that I just can’t ignore. Although I can spend so much time indoors,
hardly I am not actually exploring the world in any way. Hell, all these ideas
come from my own periods of physical laziness and sedentariness.
But even if I don’t seem the physical type, or
even really courageous, sometimes I surprise myself and even others with how
unfastened and spontaneous I can be about decisions. I haven’t really deciphered how that action
is set in motion, I just know it’s a thalassic thirst I have for traveling or
going out without warnings or plannings.
This worldly lesson (of something I already had
about myself) comes from the song Off He Goes, by Pearl Jam. In the song we are introduced
to a man who feels troubled and suddenly goes out to wind out his mind. The
intriguing part for me is about how this friend has returned and before we are
used to his return, he’s wandered away again. The traveler friend, Eddie Vedder
says in an interview, is supposed to represent his very self.
After all this time, I think I don’t really
need to convince anybody that I can identify myself with the troubled type with
“thoughts too big for his size”. And when we hit the road for the first time,
when we cross that threshold, the old life can’t ever satisfy us. The home we
used to have is no more. It’s nowhere and we seek to find it again.
Also, it’s one flaw that I have, how easily I
can get tired of something. When there’s no more meaning for me in following a
routine, it’s hard for me to hide the discontent. I guess that’s just how plain
transparent I am, and I don’t know what to think of something so ambivalent.
And when I do, I am off again.