I don’t feel as much intimidated or frustrated
when having feelings out of my range of gems, as I feel delighted for the
possibility of having a new experience, a possible new type of crest and
possibly a gem in the future.
The deal with these mindscapes is that I really
don’t know much why it’s going on, unlike other easily defined mindscapes with peridot,
garnet or lazulite components. And I don’t know if these are just sylvan crests
or even a new crest being created, or feeling things in their own identity
rather than some gem series, or then a new layer over it all, or just the
reminder that this quest of mine is foolish and the world is too big and varied
for this silly attempt.
Now, these unfathomable mindscapes happen
usually with music giving me some mood (when ‘howlite’ isn’t enough to describe
it). I think I said this before, but as unfathomable as the mindscape keeps
being despite my increased range of understanding of its crest components, the
more it becomes something more important for me to understand them, because
their gem-defying mystery is appealing, just like puzzles are more enticing
than our resolved routines.
When there’s a situation of an unfathomable
mindscape, I’m engulfed in the fascination to understand it. Fortunately after
so much time understanding how mindscapes work with crests, I am getting
skilled enough to know at least what is probably making that unfathomable
mindscape work, so I can at least know how to make it last longer.
Usually the circumstances of the world that
allow me to experience the feeling change and the study is over, but at least
there’s something for the wehmut to store and process, so it can be
artificially emulated later.
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