Once in a while I wonder about doing everything
all by my self, with these rudimental tools I have. I have this strange fright
that I could be doing something incredibly stupid. After all, I’m putting
myself in the risk of cutting the wrong metaphorical artery. And I apply this
doubt on the matter of treating my mind like a machine.
Involuntarily I’ve settled for the basic
principle that mind works through cogs and buttons of its own. But then I think
that there’s not much happening to make me stop thinking so. So far it’s
working. There are these seemingly random events of the mind, but they are just
insanely complex patterns, but I can understand how the inspirational trance
and even dreams work. I am finding I can really understand my mind and even
optimize it through this methodology, so should I really stop doing it?
I can understand pretty perfectly the notion of
subjectivity. That is, what works for me doesn’t work for others, (though I
know by the way people express themselves crest work for them at least roughly
like they happen to me), and that’s the point that doesn’t go against the
subjectivity: it works for me. If someone else finds it works for them too it’s
a plus, but so far it’s really the study of my own mind, my own intrapersonal
language. It’s something that no class or teacher can do.
Maybe people oppose to it as it could feel like
destroying the magic, but isn’t that the price of progress? I can find the
faulty cogs that create disturbance and neurosis, and the proper care and
maintenance lets it run smooth. As for the magic, the remaining sylvan mystery
gets even more enticing and seductive.
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