Introspection comes with the responsibility of
facing truth, hard ugly truth. One can’t come back from their self-discovery
whole and fully confident of themselves anymore. It crushes hopes and dreams
when we learn of our rotten sides, but it is no better to leave them hidden.
And so when something like Ersatz starts making
part of my world, representing all of my murkiest ways, I assume it must be
fortunate as I know where I have to keep my eye on.
Generally I feel like coming up with reasons
why I can’t reach out my full potential. I’m being drawn back by health issues,
or then I’m feeling depressed or then there’s always circumstances that are
completely responsible for my shortcomings. I’ve come to avoid responsibility
when I reached the point to find myself glad I had new hindrances for me to
hide behind.
It is indeed one Conundrum as the feeling of
cleanliness felt after those sour sessions is one that is hardly ever felt by
those who just ignore their dark side.
While start growing aware of this realization,
I’ve been trying to avoid it, but when I did confront with it, expecting to
feel really bad about myself, somehow I felt a strange pride of myself, and
then the mere realization started making me avoid the noticed misconduct,
because I would be in control of myself.
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