Producing ideas seems to follow very similar patterns to any other
form of admiinistrative businesses. Management and stocking of
resources, for instance, are also a present issue I have to deal
with. From time to time, I notice my stockade resources seems to
start running short. There's a season of weak zephyrous harvest, and
it affects the quantity and quality of my thoughts.
I get dry on inspiration, and I can sip no ideas from my mind. And
the thirstier I get, the worst it is to keep trying to force the
engine any further. There's nothing to say, and when I have no word
is coming I keep writing down the word “quintessenceless”.
Forcing my mind to work with such dry springs makes me feel very much
anxious and frustrated.
It gets impossible to relax and concentrate. Whole nights come and go
and no trance give its grace. When there's a moment that would in
another time mean the approximation of a trance rain to spring life
back in me, the only appearance is of something blank. It's like a
dark-clouded storm that only delivers a harmless brizzle.
Though Raseri admited he couldn't rule Ilium by himself, and has
given the Fire Ensemble the chance to rebuild Ilium, Hephaestus
wasn't in contempt with the conditions. His working hours were too
rigid, the approved projects were going through so much bureaucracy,
and his productivity was at his worst.
In times like these, there's not much to do besides going for
references, and so Hephaestus asked for Vesta to help him use the
budget to rebuild his library. So I went for studies to fill myself
again – watching movies and documentaries, reading books and
articles, and also keeping introspective research and meditation to
maintain all my feelings sorted out. I've just got to go around
study, inquiring and searching the world for more and more.
That is, of course, if I have some natural willing and energy to do
that. But I'm doing it just under orders of Vesta, who's still bound
by Raseri's will. After all, he's got an army of his own, and his
orders are to see Hepheastus help him make Lazuria burn.
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