What
scares me about time isn't just how relentless it is when bringing us
to death, it's how we start literally feeling
it closer. In our weak bones, stiff muscles. It seems to exist simply
to deter us from neglecting this inexorable fate, but to force us to
acknowledge and face constantly that we are already dying.
I hate feeling the death coming closer to my body through the agency
of time. It sounds so rude to say such a thing, but then I can't
really tell if this is right or wrong to be said, but there it goes:
aging is a disease that can't be healed. We get weaker and everything
starts malfunctioning. We lose power and energy. We get trapped in
sad, boring routines in order to treat our health well.
And the dreadful part of it all is that we adapt. We get used to
living to it. We adapt to this condition. And that's not beautiful or
reassuring. On the contrary, it's scary. We forget what we used to
have. In order to survive, we supress memories of great experiences
from the past.
We die, little by little, day by day. Each day when we get to read
one less page, we're already tired. Each day we learn one less thing
for being too worried about others things. We become less sentient,
we become more like zombies. It's like slowly drowsing away, without
noticing our belongings and traits taken from us, one by one.
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