I should never again underestimate the power of
the Axioms against the Scourgers. As humility is very useful against the ersatz
scourgers, the patience is pretty good against the zhàn scourgers. The passing
time easily discourages me of getting into any long-term dedication, and it’s
always a struggle to get myself concentrated again.
This is the needed feeling for me to keep doing
something even if there seems to be no progress. At the same time, it needs
some confidence that I am taking the right road, and there’s the weak spot
again, making it all so fragile. Any little sign that I could be wrong incites
the doubt that can so easily disrupt the discipline I try to maintain.
One of the characteristics of this axiom is
that, when actually felt (and thus being actually an axiom and not just a
vestian prospect), I am convinced that everything is going to be okay as long
as I keep going, so the whole mash of anxiety and insecurity can actually be
weakened.
This axiom requires a bit of a risk, so I have
to be sure that despite these covered tops there will be a reward if I’m just
perseverant enough. In fact, the moments when I’m least prone to be patient is
when I feel it’s not a matter of a challenge, of keeping my patience and exhaustion
working. It’s when it’s feels like I’m just trying to go through a solid wall
by banging my head on it until I bleed dry.
