Checkpoint #1

So far I could notice this blog helped me in some ways I expected (getting more comfortable with voicing myself) and some ways I didn't (it helped me to focus on subjects) and also brought new problems of which some I foresaw (it wouldn't unload my mind as much as I intended to) and some I didn't (unloading can actually overload).
Eh, pretty much life going on.

Overall, I'm not really pleased with the result. I tried the hardest to stop seeing this as something that deserves a critical avaliation, but I can't help it. Statistics tell me there are people accessing this blog and I try put myself in their shoes, and I feel down with regret bothering writing things so poorly.

Ok, first, I didn't feel as much relief as I thought it would. I actually I ended up feeling responsible for my thoughts now I'm exposing them, hence feeling more of a burden to carry, also I guess my thoughts aren't exactly getting more organized. Maybe I'm rushing to get my thoughts off my head and I've haven't dedicated as much time to thinking as I should. Eh, I don't know, maybe I'll get to find a suitable routine for thinking and deploying. Maybe I shouldn't be deploying them just yet.

Second, I thought I'd get my most important ideas off right away, but obviously it's not easy like that. I've found it too difficult to write about my most complex ideas. Not like they're really complex (they're not), but it's a whole new thing to express them in a way it has to be understandable for others. Not to mention some ideas have some requirements, things that have to be said first to open ground for the greater moves. But it's just hard, because it's hard to pinpoint what's more important of being said first. So there are a lot of things I'm not feeling ready to talk about, for fear of not dealing with them how they deserve, just as I feel it was a  crime what I did to some previous subjects.

Third, I'm also trying to deal with the problem of wasting subjects. Of crafting a text regarding something, and then noticing it's just so incomplete. I get that feeling that I have so much more to say about that, but I think that, in a broader sense it's something actually unavoidable, so there shouldn't be nothing wrong with talking about some subjects again. But there's also the issue of making it all out and not feeling much of a reward, but feeling like it has to be said again and again. I find it complicated when it comes to complaints, because, hell, cut the whining.

Fourth,I'm finding my text structures just horrendous. Either extremely underdeveloped or unnecessarily brief, or then filled with digressions and deviations or words that seemed cool to be said, but far from accurate or meaningful. I hated specifically those Tasting subjects. It's always "Of rain: I love rain", "Of music: I love music". I have to cut that crap. I have to avoid being always "oh, i love this", "I hate that" and the likes. I don't know why, but I find that extremely annoying.

Fifth, I have to revise the texts some times before posting them. Sometimes they look ok and I rush to send the text, but when I go back  to read then I just notice how uncareful I was. Some texts I regret having writing, but there they'll stay to make me feel ashamed. Anyway, I don't want to keep going back to edit it after it was published. I'm also ashamed by how I keep writing in english so carelessly. I realize I've made a lot of unnecessary mistakes, so now I'm being more careful when writing.


However, I liked some things. I like how I crafted some interesting sentences (I keep going back to that "names are steps...") and how once in a while I've got nuclearly accurate words. Also, there's one trend I'm finding interesting to keep going with: taking sentences from a post and developing another text over it. I think that's something I'm definitely keeping. They'll help me to achieve chainposting.


Regarding problems I think I may have found a potential solutions, it includes the problem I have with crafting the texts when it comes to make the reading flowing. I have all these blocks and parts looking so unconnected that'd make the reading extremely clumsy, but I was surprised how sometimes some few words can put everything on track again, with no need even of changing the overall structure.
I'll call those words Framers (I tried using the in this very post)

It also includes introductions. Sometimes I felt like I was doing it right. Starting with something broad, or seemingly unrelated to the topic and bringing the main topic slowly into the light. Something That Kinda Reminds Me of Simpsons. Eh, The Simpsons' Principle will help me deal with the issue, even though it's not exactly how they do in the show. Anyway, I'll try to explore that train of thought that leads me to these nice introductions.

So far these have been my concerns until this point. I don't know if I'll be able to fix all these things in a single month, so probably next checkpoint is going to be about whining about the very same things all over again...  
 "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go" (Indy)