Monday, September 26, 2011

Of being forgetful

Few things frustrate me as much as this feeling of stagnation and skiding in the same place. It's in fact pretty much the opposite of that fresh feeling of inspiration and willingness common to take noticeable steps in development. It's like trying to improve but having the glass ceiling blocking improvement, making the sames mistakes time and again - all while being painfully aware of them.

It seems I keep forgeting things I read and think and learn - they don't get in my mind. It's been bothering me mainly in my drawings, I can't seem to make my muscles learn to do the right strokes (even when my eyes can see flaws that are so goddamn obvious). In a way it makes me more comfortable with introspective learning, as unlocking them from the inside of my mind makes it an automatic learning, unlike reading entire books and forgetting most of what it was about, which is something that happens to me when I think back of most movies and books I've read, recollecting only a few realizations from the entire journey.

It makes me think a lot about the right way to learn. Am I expecting too much from me or am I trying an ill-planed program of development? It's really puzzling. This is either an issue that requires nuclearity and wholeness to handle them and I am really bad at absorbing information, or maybe this is common to learning and I'm forgetting the logistics of impossible and forgetting repetition is needed to embed things in my mind. I can't seem to tell which one is right, and I wish I could find out a way to figure out when I'm truly being paranoid.

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