Of Motif Mining

There's a dreadful place in my mind, mysterious, dangerous and huge. It's so huge in fact that only realizing its hugeness is deadly enough. But it's my duty to go deep into it. And as I take some steps in, I already start to feel some unbodied whisperings and the yet gentle smell of nightmist. As names come after the realization, I'm now ready to dub this Realm of Uncertainty, in an attempt to chart my way through this maze. I tread this place carefully, as mindtraps lurk all around, preying on most thoughts venturing here, possessing them with that awful illness, dysrationalia.

By the way, is this what I used to call having Cloudy Thoughts? It seems like something entirely different now. Is it because I've been sailing around these seas more often? It's all so uncertain...

Fortunately I've got some tools to help me here. First is Questioning, it can shield potential misthoughts as shown above. Also, my Hymns of Introspection seem to ward them mindtraps off, at least to a certain extent. There’s a reason why ambient songs are the perfect soundtrack for introspection, they slow down my haste to find everything, so I sit back, breathing slowly, eyes closed.

But still my sanity seems to plummet the deeper I go into my thoughts. Or is just because I’m too tired as I’ve been sleeping 3h each day? It’s all but Hephaestosis leading me into the same obsessive, maddening quest that brought me to an almost suicidal depression before, as unprepared as I was.

The deeper I go, I start feeling an increasing distrust to the overall reality of my mind, but for some reason, I'm feeling stronger, I'm feeling only mildly puzzled. Or am I feeling different things (as I have some distrust for the me that is past, I always I find him to be a weak pussy and retard who doesn't make good use of the time he has) or am I really stronger and more prepared? How can I possibly tell them apart? Uh, too much questioning, this is a really dark area. Tighten now, boys, don't despair. But, uh, there's this motif again, the emotional response leaking from it, I can almost smell it. I wonder if this motif (interesting how they become more real and more solid by the more they appear) could be stored for later studies. Now, is this place inherently uncertain, or is it just uncharted? Um, more emotional motifs! These dark caves are dangerous but they are full of treasures. Ops, that thought might have been mermaided. Quick, a question here! Or is it?. Uff, that was close.

But I digress (this is inherent of this Realm. I'm recalling it now, is this what I used to call the Unthought? Hey, more motifs to be explored). I’m fucking digressing again! Focus, boys, focus, for god’s sake, we’re in a mission here. We are unloading several posts and never getting to the nuclear point. 

How do I make these feeble thoughts less vulnerable to dysrationalia?

STOP DIGRESSING.