With this much turbulence of thoughts, I've been finding it hard to keep track of the whole of them. That is, in the conscious mind, all the names and the logistics of my strategies. In the unconscious they are entirely there, stripped from all semiotics, but wholly coherently as a whole, as my intertwining skills seem to be second nature. Fortunately I have one skill already being Fluent and costing me no effort to maintain it.
I've been noticing lately that some resident thoughts of mine eventually were forsaken. Fluency, Sparkles and some othemrs are names for concepts from some months ago no longer come to say hi and drink some coffee. I wonder how they are doing. I think I should revisit the, they might be covered by cobwebs...
When I think of them now I even seem to get a different emotional response from them. I get a distinct emotional response from each one, but they all have something in common, a certain leitmotif in common composing the identity of each one that it can become a song, a whole emotional response of its own. And it can be analogized to when you meet a friend from childhood and notice you both went part ways, it's nostalgic and sad and yet it's a feeling that life didn't stagnate. This emotional response is like we no long belong together and... no, wait, this sounds like a thought afflicted by dysrationalia, giving in to analogies and ignoring actual logistics. These old concepts are too meaningful to allow themselves to be forgotten, and they are important enough to reach deeper levels of my unconsciousness, influencing my mind. They stil are a part of me, and deep inside, there they are, stripped of all semiotics, but coherent as a whole, controlling surface thoughts.
It seems it is all about the logistics of the mind, the impossibility to store all thoughts at once. The human mind sure seems to adapt well to Braudel's Framework. Short-term memory work with the current logistics and detailed information needed at hand, and medium and long-term processes seem to deal with more abstract and analogous concepts, motifs and overarchs. There are some specific moods in my mind, sometimes skill-development, or deep introspection, to name a few I could think of. And each mood involves a certain logic, and its details are left aside when I change the mood due to the short-term memory. So the fact that I don't seem to keep track of all the whole of my thoughts hopefully has to do more with this than actual short memory. And then, maybe, if I go back to a certain mood and start inhaling the object of study, I can recall the elements and techniques inherent to that logistic that I've already explored, so I open my drawer and take the names and techniques and readapt them to the slots of my short-term memory, to deal with that specific case.
But there are always problems being unearthed. Emotional responses can change if names are too much time unused. It seems that emotional responses evolve within me, recognizable but everchanging, and meeting old names is like meeting an imprint of the moment the emotional response was identified. It's as if names were photographs holding the still frame of a moment. I wonder how I will handle this issue. But there's a nice turn when facing problems though, as it's a chance to build a more solid structure. It's like people who try to bring your opinion down with arguments you didn't think before, except you can only thank them for pointing them out.
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