Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Of natural desires and dreams of my mind

Whether it’s a good thing or not, I don’t feel responsible for these ideas I have in here. It seems to be born internally from me, but it’s not exactly me, it’s more like the usual thoughts on automatic and manual efforts (being reinforced again by confirmation), and how it seems these ideas are alive and blooming naturally, like plants thriving on fertile soil, or water promptly seizing what is in its reach, and then building up and opening a new path to run and form a new lake down there.

It’s curious how some of these great topics I’m talking so much about now I would have no guess they would be so important to me some years ago. As I let the seed germinate, my mind kept feeding from it, and when I noticed it was this size already, with dreams of big machines and everything.

But this is a process that will show a result that is unknown even to me, as if it grows with a life of its own. What’s intriguing me about it is how these indeed look like the process of sowing. I can see seeds, though I don’t know quite exactly the plant that is coming from the ground and it’s the stream of time that dictates it.
It seems I just need to let it flow and thoughts will grow, ideas will come and associations will happen. Of course, I’m struggling on the part of making everything organized but even then suddenly came to me the idea of these eva engines and so my efforts regard the gathering and organization.

The best thing about it is that it’s happening in a way that when I’ve been dreaming about it months ago, it wasn’t so interesting as it’s feeling now (which is growing to be more compelling than having ideas, which is helpful). I think this is what I like about this blog. Maybe it’s healthier not to try reaching the highest position or ambition, but using this place to witness the natural process of the development of the idea…

And I don’t know what lies ahead. Some months ago I’d have no idea I’d be doing something like these eva engines, or that I’d be having these concerns right now, even though I had the seed for it back then, I knew I would someday have to do this exercise of compilation of all my thoughts, but I didn’t know one day it would happen almost as if by itself. In a way, that is again the feeling I am just being carried by something bigger, like I am a vessel of some message of some kind (don’t read it with a religious overtone, please).

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