Since the beginning of this year I’ve been thinking of the implications of keeping this place alive. I’m afraid it might be dangerous to linger about this long around the same enterprise, as it could be a mindtrap, a sign that this is the only good idea I’ve ever had, and that I’m not giving up of it for nothing.
Basically I’m talking about the notion of these ideas not being natural to me, but an idea of its own that has inconspicuously traveled the universe and decided to hit me (or something similar Terry Pratchett mentions in one of his books). The point is, I’m quite considering the possibility that I might not ever had any other project to work on and it’s because this is the one who’s got potential and is fit for me, then I’m not leaving it, and that I will feed from its juice until it dries dead.
Or then, maybe ideas come from me, as of internal origins, as if I had all I touch has this element to it, as if the connections and correlations I’m always trying to find are everywhere and I’m just going around using this skill I have. With this hypothesis, it’s only natural I’ll stay around, as maybe this place, this blog, isn’t exactly my focus or what I’m trying to keep alive.
Although I think it’s quite “internal”, as I do think I have potential to use this skill (whatever it is to be called) for the analysis of everything, but then I might be conditioned around the concepts I have already defined. But then again, before trying to expand myself, I don’t think it’s fair to abandon things in here just because of that possibility.
These ideas I have in here have their potential and I have to know them well, so I feel I might think and rethink them several times and explore their corners and vertices and see all their uses and effects. Of course, while I can’t know for sure if there’s any progress or I am diving into stagnation, I’ll be riddled with doubts.