It’s easy to think of Trygve when there’s such a minor distress, but when all hope seems gone, it’s hard to keep a vigilance team studying it from afar. In moments like this all is forgotten, when pain seems a burden that I’ll never get rid of, that this sorrow will never leave. It’s hard to practice Fullglare, as I’m supposed to hold something inside me at the same time I’m feeling a terrible aversion towards it.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how familiar I’m with pain, I just want it all away. There’s no Fullglare that can force me to even keep looking at it. All the addiction I feel is suddenly gone. Some things are just too unbearable for me. But maybe that’s the damaging part of Trygve, the way Fullglare seems to be out of control and I find myself unable to simply go back, unable to stop looking, still tasting and now drowning.
It’s dangerous to look at the abyss, it looks back at you. One must know how far to go, and when to retreat. And sometimes I seem to go too far, or maybe I am too unprepared for the incoming tidal waves, and in moments like this Trygve is powerless (or maybe he flirts with the enemy). And the other flames must rescue me. Depending on the level of despair Hephaestus, Áine and Zhu Rong or sometimes even Vesta can bring me back by simply forgetting it all. They bring me to something a little more joyful to heal me back. It seems they’ve always managed to, I’m still here. But I don’t like losing. Going back with things unresolved leaves the cobwebs intact.
Maybe it’s Trygve who wishes to go back and try again. But of course one must keep an eye out for one of his kind. Sometimes the bloody bastard seems to be trying to kill me.
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