Saturday, November 30, 2013

Of gold amidst sand

 I remember an old, cheap candy we had here in Brazil (still do). It was supposed to be some kind of sweet popcorn, and it was a fairly awful thing. Rubber-like and tasteless... except for some occasional appearance of one or another that was unbelievably crunchy and delicious. I never understood why the whole thing didn't taste like that.

I do now.

It was a lesson for life.

Life isn't about constant, euphoric joy. It isn't about constant excitement. Weekends are short for a reason. This is the slingshotting effect that makes the free time more precious than if we had it all the time. It's a principle in economics: what would be the worth of gold if it was as mundane as sand?

I should be expect to find just now and then eventual sweet golden moments in our otherwise gritty sandy journey. As a creative one, it's a tremendous weight off my shoulder to realize producing sand doesn't take the merit from the gold we make. The bad work we do doesn't come in detriment of the good one. I remember a time when I'd have much more fun drawing and having fewer occasional successes than now.

As usual, I am stricken with self-doubt on things I do (this blog). I shouldn't be ashamed of coming up with so many of these sand-like thoughts. I'm just giving all I've got. I'm puking out everything that comes to my mind. You'd expect such sincere display to show both great and gross. I'd always think that I shouldn't make the gold so unaccessible, but it's natural that gold-like moments are and should be scarce like this.

This is no finished work of art made of carefully crafted elements, even though sometimes I try, but it's my natural process of trying to find my way. I try to unload this overloaded mind, trying to get this heavy fog out of my thinking process, even if stumbling so much. In fact, it's the struggle that should make it feel like one very inspiring human journey.

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