Saturday, November 30, 2013

Of reality-bending lies for survival

 The human mind is a fragile but tricky thing. It needs too little for its own stability to come aground. Whenever the weak button is found (innocence, indulgence or narcissistic insecurity), and hell breaks loose, the reality can twists into an unbearable situation, and I see how the mind strives to do anything to convince itself of any lie that will help the bearing of the situation.

As eminent threats can knock me off from my sane self, and that it can take me to behave chaotically, like a man running desperate with a hive on his head and a cloud of angry bees chasing him, I know I try to do anything to not have any threat left. The first option is, obviously, to defeat it in clear terms.

When I can't do anything about an uncomfortable situation, I am already defeated and will then try to ignore it. If it will not let go of my mind, as if being a very painful sting, I'll see my mind trying to pull some very dirty tricks to convince itself against those threats.

What actually bothers me about these lies to facilitate my life is that it makes me a very hypocrite human being. This is no word from Vesta, this is another one in charge of these orders. And I can't let that happen, there can be no saboteers. I can't just go and hate someone for flaws I pretty sure I have myself. I can't go around and criticize people to lower them just to feel better about myself. It's a shot that will only come back to me. The human mind is not just a fragile thing. With the wrong drive, it also seems to think just too shortly ahead.

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