Saturday, November 30, 2013

Of swollen tumors

 My business is being buried down. My dreams and my joys are being forced to be replaced by some, say, survival skills. Common world issues are there and this time they are requiring effort and energy from me, too much effort and too much energy. So much that I am unable to keep along with my secret dreams and wonderings, at least in a pace that I feel that I need to have.

It feels like I have two lung-like organs, and one of them is growing too big for this simple ribcage. It's outgrowing the one that I need to heal and to make it prosper. But I feel the pain of the pressure, the pain of something being slowly smashed, slowly squashed to death.

As I think of the future, I just see this survival skills needing constant improvement. The more and more I'm given more responsibilities and more of my time has to be dedicated towards more things that I'm told to have as I tread my life. I see it occupying more and more of my attention.

Is it worthy of my time to change my lifestyle to look more like a proper adult, going all about numbers and profit and overall being so proudly busy? Isn't there a way to manage my dreamy, artistic side with that without so much conflict?

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