Saturday, December 31, 2011

Of what the future could be saving for me

The possibility of finding a wall that I cannot breakthrough sometimes haunts me, so the future lies ahead like one asleep monster that will one day wake up and devour my silly fantasies. It's because of this that the Fire Ensemble exists, to armor and gun me up against such a fear that deep inside I know one day I'll inevitably have to face head-on.

So I usually think how much knowledge I have to develop to find myself strong enough for this fateful day. Sometimes I'm foolish enough to believe I've got enough strength, and paradoxically it's when I actually seem to be.

But still, I need a lot of improvement. I think of all the knowledge I have to develop, and there something else that bothers me. I know this pace will have to change one day, I won't be going through each month with a new discovery like things are going now. I think this first year I was charting the most basic grounds. Maybe things can keep going like this on the second year of this blog, but I think afterwards there will be no more completely novel grounds.

I don't think some grounds will be abandoned, like nuclearity, naming, logistics and others - I think I'll be using them for the remaining of my life, but they're not enough, is what I'm saying. Later years are going to be more for improvement of these first trodden grounds in the beginning of this quest.

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