Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Of Primal Fears

When it comes to Crests, I’ve really overexplored the positive ones, the good memories and good feelings I have. However, I’ve always mentioned always too little all these harmful experiences that accumulate inside of me as life passes by, and that seem to be the in the cellar of my mind leaking corrosion.

It’s really amazing to make introspective inspection in my mind and to see how experiences still reverberate around my mind. There I can unearth great memories, but also traumas and things that I guilt myself for.

It’s a violent part of my mind, the way these things are bashing and smashing everything. These cobwebbed crests suddenly make me feel terrible, as emotionally potent as they are. There I could find myself guilty of all sorts of things… it’s amazing to think I’ve been letting those fears living there for so long, sometimes these self-accusations had been past their validation date. And yet there they are, and opening the door to this cellar they haunt me even harder, accusations of being such a terrible human being, so selfish, arrogant, ungrateful bastard.

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