Of Timing

Night comes and I go to bed and in these dark hours the sparkles put my head On Fire with the most beautiful ideas. And I feel so enthusiastic I feel I have to write them down, so I get up and turn on the lights and the ideas go all "aaaah, it burrrns" and disappear. So here I am, feeling like a blank idiot, like I usually feel when I sit down at my computer to write on this blog. And I keep playing Minesweeper like... grr, like I'm doing right now. It always happens when I open the blog and I stare at it like a retard, so I do that addiction of mine or then tab myself away to other sites, and that's something I need to explore more, the reason I procrastinate like that.

When I'm like this, I can only write about the only thing that comes to my mind. What could I do to keep the ideas intact until I turn them into words? and Where did these ideas go nao? and Why can't I write the way I fucking think?. So that's the reason this blog is riddled with posts about mey trying to find a way to improve my writing instead of talking about actual ideas. And even then, I describe them too shortly, because I can't think properly right now.

And this time I realized something! This time I almost got the timing right. I felt like I made the move in the most accurate moment, but then I failed in the next steps. Yes, gamification, like a failed combo or those annoying quick-time events.

God, do I need a harder discipline. At least I feel good by knowing I'm actually doing the right thing. Just doing the right thing wrong, though.