It’s often misguiding the confusion of a simple life and an empty one. I live one simple life, but hardly one meaningless and unproductive (like in those movies the main character is bored with his office work). Of course, Csillag is unsettled by how much I’m not changing the world, but I must understand that personal development is what I can do now. I can’t step outside unprepared, that’s not my way.
Though I’ve made myself a sounding decision to not use plastered academic procedures for my development, my mind seems to retain some regret from it. I just know I can do it all by myself: it’s not like academy or anyone can teach me how I work.
I’ve read about it, how some famous accomplishments were attained in this clandestine dedication. Einstein, for instance, with both his distance from academy and the spare time in the patent office he worked at enabled him to come up with the groundbreaking ideas in the field of physics. It’s a very motivational detail for me, to know success can be achieved in very different ways.
Also, I’ve been growing to find a charming thought, to find something important being done in a little town of the countryside. It helps heal my soul against the thought of impotence and isolation from where it’s important to be. I must learn that life isn’t always where I am not at. Instead, I can make life be where I am. I can try making a change in this apparently unimportant place. Maybe that’s how steps should be taken, one at each time.