The fiery sense of liberation I had from March is still being felt. Apparently, somehow I finally learned to appreciate things from my life. I learned to enjoy my memories, my place, my family, my friends, my city, without feeling I had to have a new life. Suddenly it’s beautiful to see my current accomplishments being part of this very life I had absolutely no pride for.
All the poignancy those crests used to have, suddenly they’re harmless, as that long part of the avoidance of scourging memories and development of the anti-scourger strategy to erase the poignancy isn’t needed no more. The power they have, the thrilling novelty is still influential over me, even if it’s also not very powerful.
Maybe the most dangerous consequence of this new generation of mine as I am learning to accept myself and to know what I want and where I belong, is that having assured my safety, I might also be starting the process of aging and losing my flexibility to try new things, so I will try to be careful against this mindtrap.