Loneliness is a trick business. I have a conflict over wheter I want it or not. Sometimes it hurts me real hard, so in the end, maybe being forced to stay up in the surface reality makes me some good by not letting it take over me. Still, in the end I still have to face my bed every night and the loneliness along with it.
Although it puts me in contact with my mental troubles, there's the good thing that is how it made me recall some habits I had forgotten I used to have, such as images and songs developing themselves in my head, like a digestion of artistic information. If only I could recall that facing this danger i could trigger the ever-enthusiastic Hephaestus, and I can feel a little more at ease again.
However, one of those days something different happened. I was rolling in bed as if a comfortable position would ease my mental troubles, and when I gave up on that and then I stayed still, it seemed the troubles had a easier time aiming at me. In the middle of the whole thing, having those avoided feelings finally reaching me, I felt a song. It wasn't easily recognizable, not really like the digested kind of song mentioned earlier. It wasn't dancing in my mind, but was rather a motion in my chest that suddenly started, and lasted for a few seconds. If only that had been alive for a little more time, I could have understood it better.
The only thing I can remember of that quintessence is that maybe it could be translated as some distorted guitars, and a certain feeling of melancholy along with the bitterness. I am not sure now, but it seems that I could only vaguely recall of an album which feature that feeling. Maybe it was a reminder from my heart trying to listen to songs like this to ease the troubles, but the best thing of it all is how it suddenly shifted my thoughts towards this incredible new happening.
No comments:
Post a Comment