Suddenly one day I woke up with the charging realization ready in my mind. All this trouble I’ve been through can be more effectively worked upon if I know where to store my doubts and thoughts. So I just needed to think the right question: How do events in my life become events in this inner world? How they can correlate, and how can I build a string to connect them?
This exercise of establishing strings is basically part of the bigger mission that is the Quintessential Materialization. This is going to be basically the facility where I’ll store my doubts about this materialization exercise. And for now, creating this world with characters is my first real project of materialization. Still, I think strings can be very useful for other means of materialization. And maybe not only quintessential materialization, but also translation, as to how can colors become sounds? What’s the equivalent of one element from one modality in the other one?
So, off to my current doubts on the subject.
There are several problems I have to worry about as new characters keep showing up, and they are like droplets that bring everything out of balance. So for now I won’t go much deep in how these characters interact. No, I need first to lay out all characters. You see, Nachzehrer presented me a problem when I had him created for Sfayi, but the same feeling also came from other forms of loss. So I think it’s very important I have the pieces on board before having establishing their roles and interactions.
And then there’s the paradox that I’ve noticed with Ushag, and now with Hassen and Haesten. They represent misogyny and misandry, but does a female represent misogyny and a male for misandry, or a male figure being disgusted with women and a female figure disgusted with men? This is an old confusing theme. How does Ushag represent my own shame and insecurity? Can they represent their own feelings? Ushag can’t be insecure himself, but if he’s the opposite he would be Qareen…
Also there are those deranged dreams on using things I always wanted to use, but there’s no constancy or harmony between them. This Fire Ensemble team was created before they were actual characters, and more just some creative extension. Now I’m feeling it weird to talk about a character named Zhu Rong along with another character called Hephaestus. And not only that, I don’t know how to make them likely. They are too much Power Ranger-esque team (hell, even the Uberflammen could be a megazord robot). My problem here isn’t as much as materializing the quintessence, but having them convincing in this world-like stage. It’s one of the main problems I’m already stumbling onto constantly, the way there seems to be a limit to how far logistics from one side can be completely transferred to the other side, but this place is exactly for me to practice and test this limit. Do my actions can all become related to the story or I have to adapt most of them? As this is mostly an exercise, and also something I’ll carry for the rest of my life, it’s important to go with accurate combinations.