Thursday, January 31, 2013

Of new year, of new rules

Strange the way things can change all of a sudden. All this work I’ve been doing here suddenly felt awkward, as if it was wrong to keep doing this the same way I’ve been doing it all this time. I just realized writing as much as I can isn’t really unloading my mind, plus all this amount of thoughts all at once looks discouraging to read, even for myself. Not to mention the thought of doing the same thing repeatedly through years sounds nauseating to me.

So, suddenly as the new year has started, doing it as I used to do isn’t going to work. I have to do something to revitalize the place. I’m a little worried about my ideas, as they seem to be revolving around the same objects over and over. I want to change the atmosphere here, maybe make things lighter.

First thing, I feel I am losing track of my ideas, I’m getting dreiberged here. Because of that, I’ll need to write texts mostly about them so I will have my eye on them. I’m quite unhappy with the way I’ve been naming ideas and how I’ve been choosing them, so I need more time to see how I will deal with the themes. If they are going to be the same thing, I’ll have to organize the thing. Maybe I can focus a month for a theme, like a month for psychology, another month for history, but that needs some planning and research, so I don’t want to jump around like this.

While that isn’t defined, I’ll start trying find some use for all those I’ve had already. It’s as if I’ve become obsessed with collecting ideas, and I think I’m missing their whole point. So the first rule I have is about bringing all these little thoughts together. A lot of cog studies scattered around, they are. I’m calling this the Eva Unit Rule. I want to get all those little ideas to make one big engine from them. It’s as if I’ve been thinking about them in isolated terms, and now I need to set them up together forming bigger mechanical constructions with those cogs and pieces of machinery. Also as I create these Eva Units, I’ll also try to mend missing parts. By the end of the year, let’s see how many Eva Units I can have (or if I’ll even carry this idea out).

One second thing I need to change, like right now: being less like a teen’s blog complaining about life. For this, the Volstead Rule. I want to dry this place of all the mourning and sorrow. Opening my heart in texts has helped me, but I want things to feel more sober in here. Too much emotional investment is going to let me scarred and I don’t want to take the risk. And this way I will also force my troubles to be externalized in more elegant manners, like making fiction and art out of them. Of course, there will be some of these still, I won’t make it that strict of a prohibition act, but their numbers will dwindle for sure.

Also, I’ll try to develop my writing now. So far I’ve noticed my writing skills, specially in English, increase when I do some reading sessions before writing. It puts me in the mood for dealing with words, and it inspires me and sometimes I get myself contaminated with the style. I can come with new expressions other than the usual template expressions I have in here which is making me sick. To force myself to enhance my writing skills and try to craft texts with more quality than quantity, I’ll call these procedures part of the Globe Rule.

And another very important rule is what I’m calling the Aegis Rule. It’s about how careful I have to be with the outsider complex. It makes crests feel more engaging when it’s related to imagining others’ lives, but it’s dangerous and I feel like it tears me in half as something wants to flee from me. I need to work on that, because it’s when I seem to feel whole and when I am exactly where I want to be is when I enter the trances.

As I lost so much time in the last few months, I want to make good use of it. At least I want to do something against procrastination and the internet. I’m calling this the Tardis Rule. So it will help me with this deadly deadline ahead and I need to hurry (though maybe I should fix the configurations of the deadline already). I want to be more effective in my usage of time. I can do so much when using, say, 30% of my time, so I wonder what I could achieve with getting close to 80% at least.

And this year I need to focus on my drawing skills, because it’s decided I want to work with it as a profession. So as I work with all aspects of developing techniques and skills related to this task, I’ll have a rule to reinforce this decision. This will be the Vitruvian Rule. This is the decision that drawing is the major skill that I want to be an expert at, and I want my mental power to help it in all aspects. This is the law that brings this skill above all else.

And there’s the Incendio Rule. This year I need to develop my stringed story complete. At the end of the year I need to have their places set and have at least some early sketch of the design of all characters. I’ll spend the first semester focusing on research and exercises, and towards the second half of the year I’ll try to go for the actual drawings. Also, at the end of the year I’ll have to have a name for this story, or a name for the world so I can at least talk about it directly (I won’t go for any petty name). Hopefully by the deadline I’ll have one nice addition to my portfolio if I follow the Incendio Vitruvian Combo.

And that wraps up my main concerns about this year. With more time I’ll be able to define what sort of rule is coming for my themes. I could have tried to impel some rule for it now, but the important things usually need more time brewing. And for the rest, the Eva Unit, Volstead, Globe, Aegis, Tardis, Vitruvian and Incendio, that’s what I guess what I need to fix some of my most deceiving behaviors. Let’s see if need will bring new ones and see how inaccurate I was in setting up a defense.

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