Friday, June 1, 2012

Checkpoint #14

May was a month for expansion. Apparently failure, as a fuel for development, is working like a charm (I just wonder how long I can use it until it drains off). This challenge to write seventy posts first seemed like an impossible challenge to conquer (hell, blogspot thinks I'm a robot). And I pulled it off. Quite easier than I expected, actually. I think I wouldn’t have this many ideas to talk about, but in the end I had several posts removed because they weren’t even good enough. I cared for quality as much as quantity. But at least I realized that in the future I’ll thank myself for it  - unless this kind of release brings me to a deadlock. 

The coolest thing is how I didn’t even need to abdicate everything in my life for this. I’ve been mostly enjoying this complete Death Note collection I’ve found at the bookstore in most of my spare time, and still drawing a lot, and doing other mundane things, like socialization. I felt I could do over a hundred posts if I had breath enough for it, so the amount of writing I did without total abdication didn’t really serve me to see how far I can go, but more to make get rid of this unconscious refraining that was holding me back. Thirty posts are a piece of cake for me now, a realization possible through this exercise. And I can devote my time for an increased self-challenge. In the future I’ll be able to do more advanced and sophisticated exploits.

There were some big ideas I haven’t been able to put into words yet, and the reason I’ve postponed the Crest, Spells and Quintessences set of expansion is because I don’t want little silly texts about them: I’ve postponed them because I really care about them. Still, all these ideas I talked about were mostly cobwebs I wanted to get out of the way. However, I had some interesting ideas in this month. For sure the Delta concepts are the discovery of the month, though I’m yet to find how practical they can actually be (I’m going test it by improve details in my texts for my own use of them as Delta Stones).

Also I’ve learned with Dark Amethysts of the potential of using gemstones for my major crests (and the long quest is coming to one end!). I’d like to say how naming feelings after gemstones are becoming very attractive to me. However, I am being very cautious about not letting my overcreative energy to let cracked inventions to put disorder in this work. There are many subtleties here, and I have to be careful about them. It’ll take some time before I get them ready, because there’s another area of manual creation that’s somewhat more urgent for me.

Talking about future plans, I’m really, really tired. Although I’ve felt my writing skills have developed immensely from this month's martial exercises (and my eyes are sharper for arguments needed for the HK-47 Protocol), I won’t be doing this release again. No, this time I’ll do the opposite. It’s time for restraint. I am almost 100% sure my ideas are never-ending. Now I will try making an effort not to have ideas. It’s, uh, harder. From these last few days when I had May ready I already came up with several fresh new ideas for the next month.

No, although I plan to dedicate my time for these two thick books to improve my psychological studies, and also to live my life without this pressure (to test how I will be when coming back) and put some other things in my life into place, I still have plans for June. But if anything, I’ll work on fewer, much fewer posts. I need just limited leitmotifs to actually do some networking (seventy of them was too much, though I hope this skill was also developed by burning my brain trying to come up with networking solutions in may). For these fewer posts I’ll try making experiments of manual exercises, in addition to the martial ones. For instance, something I’ve been calling Siege for these massive sylvan quintessences. I want to train my mind for turning this Trance on in the right moments, or then to make creative energy more homogeneous along my changing selves. No, I meant IF I’m going to, because I need to stop for a while. I need to learn how to stop once in a while.

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