Sunday, March 31, 2013

Of identity shaped (weights removed)



As obvious as it may seem, finding peace requires no more than being with things that are important for us. There’s no need to waste time proving ourselves and poisoning our hearts with so much anguish and frustration. That’s not to say it’s about giving up of dreams or even getting rid of ambition. It’s about learning to keep the head clean and enjoying the ride.

It turns out there’s enough for a complete human experience within my current reach. Things that require no fame or (lots of) money. Honestly I need money for something I want a lot, which is to travel around the world. I can gather enough money to buy me a cello or to have access to culture. Other than those minor luxuries, what is money for? I don’t feel motivated to work for money because some things I want it can’t give me directly. So I do have quite a tendency to save it because I don’t go around spending it needlessly, so I even have enough for any emergency (like a self-funded life insurance).

And what would fame and prestige grant me? They are going to allow me to meet and befriend people who would otherwise scoff at you, and honestly, who needs them. People with wisdom and knowledge and humility and a gentle heart, which are the people I need to have around me, they are everywhere. They don’t limit themselves to some select few who can get to the top of hierarchic buildings.

Sometimes I think this might even be a dangerous move, but I am finding the development of a career, especially in the business world quite a meaningless pursuit, considering all these weights I just removed from my pursuits. I don’t want the power of high hierarchic grounds, unless it’s for the better of the world, then yes, I’d love to be successful and influential and make a difference in the world…

But through which means again that is reserved only to rich and famous? So I can be rich and I can help people with donation? There’s a lot of unhappiness that can be cured without money. I guess I can make a difference just by working honestly and spending time with friends and learning with them, and being kind and healing others’ faith in people, and keep running this blog and creating my things in peace and spreading the message and joining some projects here and there and just see where things go.

Now, it’s not like I’m deciding this through a nightfall. There’s a lot to be considered when one’s future is being decided, but honestly, some of these pursuits don’t feel like I’m going to regret giving up. It’s not like I’m giving up of my dreams and I don’t really feel like I’m acting like a coward. I don’t want a stressful life, but that means avoiding the unnecessary frustration for things I don’t even want, so maybe this truly is a wise choice, as this puts me in a good flow with demands of reality. I might not ever be admired by my work, but why again is that mandatory? As a matter of fact, thinking of living a peaceful life without stressful situations (which is different from knowing adrenaline) is sort of making me feel not only relieved, but also… excited.

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