Sunday, March 31, 2013

Of Ilium and Ersatz

There are two easily distinguishable selves of mine. Flames and Scourgers, Gamma and Sigma, Ilium and Ersatz. These represent the two main reigns in the story, as they represent the very internal aspects of mine. Though there are the other two enemy reigns that is Zhàn and Lazurian Empire, they represent some sort of exterior reinforcement, as it’s in the convoluted confusion in the region I call Ersatz that I have all my problems.

The city of Ilium is a menace to the ruling Ersatz clans and kingdoms, and they fight for that small piece of land. The Ilium self is when I feel more extrovert, friendly and very easy-going.  The Ersatz self is when I feel really uncomfortable, quiet and insecure. I am also considerably dumber, which brings a circle of doom. This is one of the issues as there are periods when these two start going really apart and I start going for those extremes.

This seems to be the disassembled selves issue I was experiencing a few months ago. It’s about going to one side and the other and living like there are two lives, or rather, two personalities. The answer is one of these 101 solutions: balance. The trick is, I am guessing here, to pull the other self closer when one is dominant, and so becoming something more uniform. Using crystals is helping, for instance, as an interesting way to get myself more comfortable and with my preferred self even when I’m feeling estranged.

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