Sunday, March 31, 2013

Of love, sex and power

One of ways the world surprises me the most is just about how love can hurts. I think a lot about that. Isn’t it weird that one of the ways people are hurt the most is by the same thing that elevates our soul to highest levels? It’s quite strange how romantic relationships have this power. Isn’t it strange it gets to happen to even the toughest man and woman? It hurts because we feel idiot for trusting others and because we feel we did it so innocently and we were open to them.

But then again, why is that feeling like we done something innocently hurts so much? Why being open hurts? Why is that when people abandon us we feel a stab in our heart? Why does it really hurt our ego? Why do we feel sad about other people betraying us or putting us aside? Is it a weakness to open our heart to others? What I am asking is if it really is something entirely natural. How could we know, after all?

It quite has to be natural as those things play with our life chords. It’s the reason amethysts, bohmite and turquoise are so influential. We need food, we need water and we need other people and we need to reproduce. Love is more powerful than most gems because it is this life chord and very influential and the reason it creates those tides with our emotions. The same thing is for sex and death, pearl and, for death, still a combination of opal and marble.

Anyway, my point is… to which extent the trend for sex addiction is simply a natural quest for this tidal effect of ecstasy and life running through our body and not a rather cunning construct to fuel society around? Sometimes I feel like the way it’s presented it’s not as much a celebration of life but rather a manifestation of power. How much the lack of sex damages our body and mind in biological terms more than the social impotence under the pressure to display social power through being sexually desired?

I really don’t like what sex becomes as it becomes a weapon of power, a terrible and complex weapon of domination and manipulation for both men and women. The effect can be seen when one experimentally implies that sex isn’t the best thing in the world. In some social circles, especially male-dominated ones, it’s taken as a disgusting affront. And that’s interesting to show the effect of social power of sex because it also has to do with social roles. In these same circles, saying you’re gay are likely to cause the same reaction, because that implies you’re willing to take the passive role, and therefore submissive and powerless and degrading role. Considering also how our curse words indicate that, could it be the simple arrangement of our genitals in the engagement of sex have been most single-handedly responsible for the settlement of patriarchal society?

And there’s something else that I don’t hear around. The world is much more than love and sex. Look at the gems: there’s amethyst and pearl, and granted they are powerful and amethyst itself can alter the perception of the whole world around us, but there is still other fifty gems you still have to taste in the world. And even then, I think we should thrive to be less worried about personal pleasures. I’m unconsciously part of this hedonic society too: I think of gems and how I can think of the ways I feel pleasure through my senses.

Of course, power is connected to pleasure as power gives us safety, which is also one of the life chords (amber being the equivalent gem). Being popular and wanted and disputed is about safety and power too. All the while, there are workers and scientists and thinkers spending their lives making the world run around and they are terribly unappreciated.

But someone tell me again what’s so horrendous about not trying to get laid all the time and being popular but to learn how the world works? Wouldn’t it be nice if we had more stimuli to improve the world? Aren’t those people who sacrifice their pleasure and happiness in order to bring the world education, knowledge, health and entertainment absolutely beautiful, heart-warming and inspiring? So why would we want to be like those empty-hearted but powerful beings who are just trashing about in their path of consumption and mindless spending and exhausting of resources?

Isn’t it weird when we feel better in places without the influence of the social power and its pressures, including sexual tension? One of the best places to be is with friends telling of their failures, making fun of their lack of appeal, or when genders don’t define friendships. How awesome is that? This is a place where there’s no vertical struggle of power. You’re not talking to the other person like you have to gain their sympathy and play any game of being over or under anyone. No, it’s a lovely and flowing interaction where everybody is side by side. Isn’t the world simply more beautiful in places like this when you’re not innocent, but you’re clean, instead of all these dark nightclubs full of libidinous intentions, tricky manners and shadowed sides?

About this point, I might reiterate an important point in my opinion about sex. I don’t want sex made of this kind of power and damaging pressure. This is not about chastity or any other religious taboo, and in fact it’s quite the opposite. Man and woman are equally sharing the same power, side by side, with active and passive roles being a rather technical detail. So let’s explore our bodies and our pleasures, let’s learn the Kama Sutra, but let’s do it without shame and fear and pressure. Without all these social weights over the theme. This is really sex as it should be meant to be, passionate and pure. Wait, you can have your S&M if you like, no one’s to judge.

And what matters if it’s pure love and not any imposition of power? Let’s just go against the prevalent culture of chasing sex like it’s the holiest thing and like being popular is all you need to be in peace with your self-esteem. That just makes us neurotic and it definitely deranges our sense of balance as we’re left wondering what’s wrong with us if no one is loving us, and hating the world for simply not giving us a tint of love to warm our hearts. But we can live in peace if we just know that there’s nothing wrong with us. We are all beautiful as we are, with our vices and problems and remedies, our faulty self-esteem and social awkwardness and traumas, but we also shine because we can be brilliant and kind. Because we are all human and we must be loved as those cracked crystals we are. Someone will love us for what we are, and to the hell with those who don’t.

That’s how romance and love and sex have to happen to me, in an honest human sphere. I sincerely prefer to be out of that game where I have to conquer the right to have sex, as I feel a great aversion to imposition of power. You see, people quite have a sharp sense for that, and it’s my lack of imposition of power that I feel I end up being more lonely than I think I deserve. But I’m learning to accept it. It’s the price I’ve got to pay. But at the same time, I know I’m not having any bloodsucking moths surrounding me if I’m not burning my light needlessly.

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