I think that, by listening to music as a way to let my feelings flow, they got well fused with bashing chords, soothing base lines and mourning cellos. Maybe it’s the reason sometimes they feel like these water-like emotions of mine.
It’s been getting more frequent now, though I definitely don’t want to mean that I’m getting more significantly closer to them. They are still short-lived one-note long songs or even shorter. I fear it’s just something I’m pretending to believe I could use, but the truth is that I think it’s one of those things that will never come to be shaped in reality.
Those moments I felt the musical quintessences, they were all with strong emotions. There’s this special dandelion song I feel once in a while and that, despite being created from this intense feeling, it is just so distant yet. I wonder what it takes to materialize it. Does it take just my sensibility and awareness, and notes, chords and arrangements will come?
Also, what if those songs require other instruments, like a violin? I can’t still barely play the guitar and play from it the sounds I like. I’d be lucky if I could make one hook melody out of this musical feeling. And there’s also the Creator’s Paradox. I don’t want it to become something different on its own. I want it to be exactly like I feel it. I think it’s cheating not to try going for the difficult challenge.