The dream of the Great Aftergoal is a big one to me, even if I don’t want to acknowledge it. The road of life has been so weary for me that I’ve been finding myself unconsciously longing to find the moment in life when all problems will be gone.
Even though this mindtrap might seem so common a desire, I hope the rest of the world isn’t like me. I hope there’s just few people like me feeling the entire time to be on the edge of their fall, barely making their way through life, because situations and circumstance change from great to terrible in a minute.
It’s a constant permanence of being in a state of tension of feeling like almost falling that makes the journey so tiresome here and there. Honestly, there are moments when I just desire to fall at once.
The problem with this mindtrap is that I’m not enjoying the journey. But that’s the easy part of the realization. I can’t get rid of heaviest burden scourgers bring upon me, no matter how much I’m advancing in life, they’re always there. I can’t seem to find the way to enjoy life with all the pressures, burdens and pain.