Introspection comes with the responsibility of facing truth, hard ugly truth. One can’t come back from their self-discovery whole and fully confident of themselves anymore. It crushes hopes and dreams when we learn of our rotten sides, but it is no better to leave them hidden.
And so when something like Ersatz starts making part of my world, representing all of my murkiest ways, I assume it must be fortunate as I know where I have to keep my eye on.
Generally I feel like coming up with reasons why I can’t reach out my full potential. I’m being drawn back by health issues, or then I’m feeling depressed or then there’s always circumstances that are completely responsible for my shortcomings. I’ve come to avoid responsibility when I reached the point to find myself glad I had new hindrances for me to hide behind.
It is indeed one Conundrum as the feeling of cleanliness felt after those sour sessions is one that is hardly ever felt by those who just ignore their dark side.
While start growing aware of this realization, I’ve been trying to avoid it, but when I did confront with it, expecting to feel really bad about myself, somehow I felt a strange pride of myself, and then the mere realization started making me avoid the noticed misconduct, because I would be in control of myself.