Monday, December 31, 2012

Of Axiom of Patience

I should never again underestimate the power of the Axioms against the Scourgers. As humility is very useful against the ersatz scourgers, the patience is pretty good against the zh├án scourgers. The passing time easily discourages me of getting into any long-term dedication, and it’s always a struggle to get myself concentrated again.

This is the needed feeling for me to keep doing something even if there seems to be no progress. At the same time, it needs some confidence that I am taking the right road, and there’s the weak spot again, making it all so fragile. Any little sign that I could be wrong incites the doubt that can so easily disrupt the discipline I try to maintain.

One of the characteristics of this axiom is that, when actually felt (and thus being actually an axiom and not just a vestian prospect), I am convinced that everything is going to be okay as long as I keep going, so the whole mash of anxiety and insecurity can actually be weakened.

This axiom requires a bit of a risk, so I have to be sure that despite these covered tops there will be a reward if I’m just perseverant enough. In fact, the moments when I’m least prone to be patient is when I feel it’s not a matter of a challenge, of keeping my patience and exhaustion working. It’s when it’s feels like I’m just trying to go through a solid wall by banging my head on it until I bleed dry.