Some months in the past I started noticing
that, along with each monthly generation, there was one certain theme to follow
them. It’s been interesting to register them in order to keep myself a little
more updated with experiences I’ve been through, and a bigger block is easier
to keep track than several little rocks that are these dozens of texts.
So, starting in August, when I first noticed
it, I had this issue of the one-shot chances. It refers to the attempts in
doing things more risky. It also had something about being more daring, and
about exposure and responsibility. In September, with the awkward restraint and
difficulty to concentrate on reading, I was thinking about how things I’m not
good at are much harder to change. In October I started noticing how the ways
world are much more unbounded than we got used to, which is a frightening
realization but also refreshing at the same time. And I just saw how all I need
to do is to make my move, and depending on what it is, reality will just allow
it to happen.
In November, when I moved out to this other
city, wow, there were indeed too many lessons to learn from. In some ways it
was the same generation than October, so some doubts were still framed in my
mind. All these questions and doubts around the purpose of a limited life and
also how dangerous it is to hunt for signs.
In December the same generation was still on, and it was mostly about coming
back home and still making the mistake of trying to see signs and hints of what
would have been the best choice to take, and the lesson is that actually
there’s no ground that we can stand sure to tell which choice is the right one.
No one knows what could have happened if we had taken the other road, and no
one can decide it for us. The alternate reality left behind can very well
become cobwebs in our minds, or even crests-through absence, which can have
risky consequences.
With such a strike that was the sigma
generation starting in October and lasting until nowadays (and maybe even further),
there are too many things I need to review again. These are questions that I need
to resolve before going on in my life, and although most of them are personal
questions that shouldn’t really interfere with this place of ideas, I want to
try all the tricks I can, and I hope writing texts about them will do me some
good.
