Monday, December 31, 2012

Of Pressure Blindfold

Out of all blindfolds, this is probably the one that impairs me the most. And it makes me feel like shit too, because it always has to do with pressure from others. Although I can’t run away from it, I can’t also find a way to fit in and deal with it in a way that I can just feel free enough to think my trances through.

Happens mostly when I’m surrounded by people, and it prevents me from ever getting access to some trances that allow me to have my ideas. It’s the reason classes of all sorts always hindered me from actually discovering this sort of intelligence that needs so much this soul-reaching efforts for trances to happen, and to actually make my potential awake.

It was this blindfold that made it take so, so long for me to learn of my capabilities. It was only when I was coming out of college that I really learned I had a talent. It’s only when I was out of the college that I fully learned I could be someone other than one other lemming being dragged around by the wills of others.

This is the reason why I am always trying to do things alone. It’s the only way I know to be free from this blindfold. And I find it really dangerous, I really do, as I know of the drawbacks of the Tactical Exile. I know what I am losing, and this complete isolation can make me really, really, really vulnerable.