These are dangerous waters, some unsolved subtleties here, but some equations have an affinity with my work with motifs. I still don’t really know the true difference between motifs and equations, and there’s the possibility of equations being a returning quintessence of motifs. But as confusing and chaotic this relation is, there are motifs that seem to be work if I think of them as the equations. For instance, Logistics, Nuclearity, the whole Aftergoal ideas, the very useful Braudel’s Framework, and lately the Martial Reinforcement show patterns that can be found everywhere.
As some of them clarify the roads of the world for me, it’s through the martial efforts that I seem to find the equation that grants me some warranty that I’m doing the best I can for my development. It’s the equation of finding results by pushing my own limits. It allows me to feel the struggle is real when I know I’m going against some odds to achieve something, and this is how I feel I can foresee the results are to be the most solid.
My mind seems to react better when I’m not trying to comfort myself in any way, especially if it means to believe a lie. That’s some cheating my mind has its own code of judgment and punishment. So harsh environments, albeit poignant, seem to compensate for the punishment that comes from trying the easiest path.
It might seem like there’s no sense if not explained entirely, but I think there’s a reason for my mind to demand exhaustion. It’s its own way of demanding life. After all, I feel it neighboring Scarpride, the feeling of being alive by the intensity of pain and weariness.