I wonder where it’s coincidence some events from last year making me reexperience some feelings I had from then. It’s like I’m going back to an old me I wouldn’t expect to see, mostly because I wish I could retrieve good things about past generations.
There’s this feeling I don’t remember feeling in a very long time. I see I used to call it Stains (which is a very good name, I think only its absence made it forgotten). In moments of weakness, the whole of life seem to be stained with a bitter energy, which irradiates and hurts me. Even being in places where I would be safe and my soul could rest, the crests I find in there irradiate some form of poignancy.
In these moments, there’s really no place I can hide. It’s a feeling of being unsheltered and safeless as if I was out in a storm. In fact, when recovering from the storm by unwanted winds of fortune (as it feels like a retreat), the ensuing feeling is like of finding blue skies again.