Thursday, May 31, 2012

Of Loudening’s Zone

Social skills were never my strength. Being surrounded by people has always been intimidating to me. I just don’t feel comfortable. And it feels that, whatever I do when I’m around them, all of my skills are turned steeply down.

Confidence is what is needed for the loudening of the skills. It was something I wasn’t able to do even alone, but now I’m getting strong here. But my intention isn’t to remain here (Csillag knows of that). For my talents to have any purpose, they can’t be used for my own pleasure.

But it’s a true struggle getting myself confident in front of others. It’s not a matter of shyness. No, it’s just one of these complexes that I have about of my image (though, yeah, it renders me timid). However it goes, lately I’ve been trying to convert that. I’ve been practicing my drawing in front of other people, and I’m getting more used to it. I still don’t feel much of a change yet, but I’ll try bolder steps to test it out.

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