There are changes coming. I feel them, because there is chaos. Abilities from previous generations were lost, such as the ability to easily recover from falterings in March, or the ability to have this feeling of independence that allowed me a better utilization of trances in April. Everything has been getting more difficult lately, as confused as my mind became in the lack of these inspirational moments of clarity. It’s all in all a very familiar feeling, a taste of complete lack of grasp towards any solid safe port.
My guess is that I’m witnessing a change of generations. I don’t think it’s one of them majors coming, as the highest one requires a very hard change in the way one sees life. For instance, changes coming from these mythical deaths. Some lower ones would be a change in routine. And then, as a braudelian concept that it is, minor and more frequent changes in generations come as they happen more frequently, affected by minor events as well (such as changes of mood and etc). Getting in and out of trances seems to be minor changes of generations, for example.
I’m not sure which kind of generation is to come aside from the usual monthly one (as the routine of preparing texts for the month has this side effect of making generations change precisely with the change of each month), as I’ve got one more of these punches that aren’t as strong as a full death, but certainly as painful, and yet my life goes forcefully unchanged despite of that (because everything has this double systematic feedback). And here’s an unresolved subtlety, as I don’t know if a change from death can happen without change of routine.
Anyway, however changing the next generation is or isn’t coming to be (and I will realize it only after it’s gone, in a similar fashion to Wehmut Process), or whatever abilities I’ll possess, the ones I really need right now are the ones I used to have in the last two months (March’s Recovery and April’s Love). It’s fundamental for me to have them back as to find myself moving like I was.