Thursday, May 31, 2012

Of what I am not supposed to be

People around me have the annoying habit of saying what kind of person I am. They are always so sceptical when I say I listen to black metal, because I’m so obviously not a metalhead. If I’m doing it then they conclude I am probably a poser or trying to be someone I am not or whatever is their guess (black metal? you psycho) instead of so rarely being a more flexible ‘hey, I wouldn’t expect you to listen to things like that’.

For real now, I have no idea why people laugh when I say I have profound interest in psychology books or classes. ‘Really? It’s so not you!’. It’s the same thing for every little piece of whatever that is out of the range of the stereotype people make of me. Apparently I can only be a shy guy who makes his drawings, and it’s way out of me to dream of being a musician, or a scientist, a diplomat, a teacher.

Hell it’s mostly people who know nothing except my exterior shell, and instead of reacting to my dreams like they’re going deeper into the complex beings that we all are, no, they’re going to insist we are what they’ve learned from us in the first impression…

Obviously, it must be much more innocent than that and certainly they don’t intend to cripple my ambitions, but it’s sure discouraging to find there are things you’re automatically unable to become simply because it’s not the kind of thing people think you are. Well, technically not unable, but certainly being out of your way to explain yourself to others, to convince them, to prove them like that is certainly very, very unnecessarily exhausting.

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