There are moments when I find my end is nigh. This is the moment when one of my founding motivations disappears, and I feel everything is going to crumble down. It’s when the moment is fit for giving up, as I’ve come so far with no graspable result. But, like all axioms, they can be triggered in the very moment I need them, and they make me so strong.
I should retire from this project, but, unlike being tired or exhausted, I am just hopeless. When I’m feeling powerless and there’s no beacon of hope, there’s this strange courage that makes me realize the merit of what I’ve done so far, and that I’m too strong for petty things trying to bring me down.
My sounding decision is to stay firm and go on can be exactly what can pumps in more energy. It’s when I can actually feel empowered and confident and I know I am much more than what people believe me to be, so I have to prove my merit. If it’s a brutal punch that forces me to give up, then my insistence is more likely going to endure, as it’s one of my surest foreseen reactions.
The perseverance doesn’t seem to be triggered when I’m affected by apathy and indifference. This kind of blackouts that extinguishes the quintessences is much more dangerous. It mines my enthusiasm from below and I can’t drive the quintessence through the means of enantiodromic spells that can change the despair into passion.