The logistics of my feelings are different than the logistics of the world. It makes it terribly complicated to try telling a story based on my feelings. The crests of analogy make me see shapes and details in my emotions, but that’s currently as far as I can go.
I am very frightened to do anything that could be just silly and improbable, though there’s no avoiding that. Yet, I wish to tell of a tale that isn’t this ethereal, but solid in terrain. But the different logics that can’t be analogized keep bothering me endlessly. For instance, military reinforcement can’t happen at sudden in the real world, while in my mind a complete twist can turn the table unexpectedly in seconds. Unit forces don’t exactly dwindle in my mental battles, for instance.
Also, how would geography play its role in this story? As far as now, headquarters are existing in a certain ethereal location. I so wish I could have palaces, castles, country roads and everything, but making a simple map and put the pieces on it would be against the Quintessential Rule. The battlegrounds could be the skills I’m trying to conquer. Illustration, thoughts, texts and music could be the main regions the flames battle against the scourgers. The perseverance could allow me to get the Fiery Flags on them, and the Scourgers wouldn’t be more of a menace. It sounds interesting, but I must think more on it before going any further.
The neighboring quintessences would represent the places in which I could relate the characters, such as Ushag’s relationship with Trygve, or the bond between Csillag and Vesta. Noekk can also be related to Sfayi, Áine and Vesta, and I wonder if I am doing it right to put Noekk and Sfayi in a position outside the war between these two potencies.
Maybe Csillag could be a dragonbeast that sniffs my pride and roars the earth tracking the source to eliminate it. And I also have my issues in defining the image of Ushag and Qareen. The image I have of Qareen is basically of handsome men, some image made of finnish singers with long hair, the face lines that resemble of Jeff Buckley’s, James Franco’s and James Dean’s characteristics. But this way Ushag would represent my own image, the way I hate my skin and my body type, sometimes my own gender. It’s a very interesting problematization, to think of how Ushag could represent this without him feeling insecure himself. I make his figure to be slouchy and disproportionate, though the excessive ugliness is already bordering Trygve’s essence. And then, is Trygve a redeemed Scourger? Could he be Ushag’s son?
There are hundreds of subtleties to resolve before I can fluently tell a story through these emotions of mine. But I am patient and I don’t want to bring harmful cracks to this, so I will keep doing it little by little. As of today, having it half done and half imagined is bringing me a nice opportunity to learn of the mistakes of the past and possibilities of the future.
Also, until there, even though Campbell and Jung have studied it already (and I haven’t read them in depth), I like the idea that I am experiencing first-hand the creation of a mythology, which makes the understanding of real world ones so much more interesting.