I’ve always followed my heart more than my brains. It’s the reason there are so many things feeling wrong in my life. If I was paying attention to signs and changing them when it was right I wouldn’t have made so many mistakes. I wouldn’t feel in delay.
Still, trying to do something following my reason has always turned out to be an exigency beyond my skills. Trying to do things with objective and clean and analytical eyes make me terribly exhausted, and even though it makes me feel I might be doing something right, they lead me to nothing.
My attempts to do reasonable efforts rarely, if ever, have the same rate of success than if I were doing things more instinctively. It might be one dangerous unconscious assumption, but it does feel like following my heart can bring me safer results.
There’s no point in trying to achieve something you aren’t going to be granted, like being accepted. No matter the actions I do, there’s no Quintessential Wisdom protecting me in here. Maybe I should get myself accustomed to it, but there’s where the beacons of hope keep making me trying.