It’s my incapacity to actually follow my reason and stand to my point and not weaken in the process. It might be the vertice missing from the actions shaping my future. It is, definitely, one of my worst flaws, this insecurity.
But this insecurity is also in my exaggerated nobility that prevents me from being too rude when I need it to. But when I’m a little more firm with people, I’m told I’m being rude, so I’m never being firm in the right measure. It’s a line between being hard and being rude that excessive effort only make me fail more at it.
However, it’s not like I’ve never been hard and firm in my decisions and arguments. The axiomatic pleasure comes in the shape of knowing I can win an argument with reason without leaning towards aggressiveness, which would always lead me to regret.
This connection between hardness and reason has caused me to unconsciously assume that hardness is the only attitude necessary for my success. That doesn’t make it neither wrong or right, but I must know the balanced way through which I could use having a little more attitude and being a little less worried about other people.