Lately I’ve been thinking of the ways my mind reproduces music. Sometimes it’s a reverberation from listening to the song one hour ago. Sometimes it’s in my regurgitating time, and there’s a style of music playing in my head that’s only similar to the songs I’ve been listening.
Basically, this is something that is much more productive for me in music-making terms than the Musical Quintessences. I’ve been downgrading it lately, as I feel it has been too mystified as the magical song that my heart sings. I’ve been too eager towards it as it would feel like my most wonderful ability. People would admire me for it.
No, I don’t think there’s nothing too special about it. It seems so rare and sudden that my study is based mostly on the lasting impression. But now, thinking of it, it would probably be no more than some special kind of regurgitation. It seems probably the way melodies from several generations past can gather into a marble quintessence and somehow the emotion I feel gets in touch with that marble.
Apparently my soul recognizes the emotional response I had to the song as something similar to the feeling I’m having. The experiences share similar crests and, in a similar fashion to how unexpected crests surface in dreams, my mind brings up the association. And then this echoing wail makes the quintessence be slightly disassembled and makes me feel the hint of music from this amalgam of songs that once gathered in the marble.
The quintessential song, now thought like a regurgitated song, now can, interestingly, help me understand the regurgitation itself. As emotions are so much easier to be perceived, they are easier to understand than those unconscious manifestation and complex associations my minds makes about mundane things. Now I know there’s a logic behind the random event that is dreaming and regurgitation, and it triggers my hunger to understand it. But I must be careful about it. This is indeed one tremendous ambition.