Things that I dream in here rarely are real in the surface world. My introspective skills have no effect out there. No matter how obsessive I am about developing myself in here, it doesn’t feel up there. I haven’t seen myself change significantly when it comes to the surface reality.
It’s as if these were separated worlds. All my burning desires in here are so easily suppressed when I find myself there. All this ease to have ideas, all this sensitivity to expressing myself is never finding its way to where it really matters. My skills and qualities is never where they have any importance.
I long to make this tissue disappear. It’s very thin and it’s only once in a while that I can make me feel this self from when I am in there. Still, it is made of a very resistant fiber that never allows me torn it apart to let me traverse between these worlds.
The issue at hand is about overcoming discomfort, as it is one of the pillars for achieving trances. I’ve got to make myself comfortable out there as I can feel in here. Then, maybe my actions could actually change something. So that’s probably all I need to worry developing about now.