Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Checkpoint #16

July was a long journey. I can believe it’s been one single month since I climbed up that waterfall thirty days ago. However, it’s not like this feeling of slowed-down time has been well-spent. Unfortunately, I’ve done so little this month like I don’t remember ever doing. I’ve watched just like two movies, just read one book, played no game, been drawing one to two days each week. I’ve been neglecting some house chores for too much time each week. And I’ve written so little. I have never felt so sleepy. It was a wave of lethargy and moroseness that I must be more careful about.

However, in this pattern that I’ve been noticing in the last months, the final ten days have always been the most inspiring ones. The beginning is always scary when I think there will be no new things to think, but from the day 25 to day 30 they are already overflowing. It’s like the whole month warms up to that. And, despite being weak during most of the time, I still had enough trances to have several new ideas. The sylvan neighbor of Causal Adherence was captured in the first five days of the month, though I am yet to determine if it’s indeed what I was chasing. But there were discoveries that I was already talking about, after all there was a siege on these themes. The prize would go to Quintessential Gathering, though it was mostly a returning quintessence. I also enjoyed the Quintessential Wisdom. Quartzes and Ambers were the new gems that surprised me the most.

Selecting the spells, quintessences and crests to talk about made me notice a successful sieging, though mostly for crests, which I felt has been improved a lot. Although I didn’t have them polished like I wanted, with proper introductions and conclusions, or even a complete revision of texts (and I’ve neglected one of my networking rules of having the name of the idea unmentioned until it was shown in its own post), I have the feeling I’ve done something special this month.

Several things I’ve been learning throughout these months, but several important new things came up this very month. Plus examining crests is really fun. But I’m still worried that having those major crests named might have a negative impact. For instance, the realization of the influence of these gem crests on my mindscapes have been ruining them. I have to learn about thinking of them in spell-like ways.

The stability of the trances these days examining crests were really interesting. I think it could be because the trances at the beginning of the recovery after Ushag’s last grand assault made me less torn apart by them, and I was around this constancy, and little variation around 500mt. Or maybe I’ve attended to my crests’ call by paying attention to them all they gave me the nuclear reward that are the trances. Or then, as frequent as surfacing crests can be, I always had things to think, or maybe because I was working in my creations (it’s the attending to Hephaestus’ Call). Any way, I’ll try to see with these possibilities again for trying to keep this kind of trance I enjoyed so much.

So I was really weak this month, and I had some terrible blackouts that almost made me give up of everything. Ushag is a beast indeed. As I think the release in may was in great part responsible for it, maybe I shouldn’t keep the plan of trying the release again now in august. But fuck it, I’ve got dozens of things to talk about, and if my mind is going to break down because of something silly like this, I can’t be able to go on in this journey. I should bring the end at once.

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